A wild penis is a crazyass penis that has contracted so many lethal venereal diseases from such frequent, intense, puke-evoking wanking and/or intercourse that it has miraculously grown its own functioning DNA and come to life. One can find wild penes almost anywhere they can find any animal, but they are often identified by the kind of environment they live in (ex. common house penes, saltwater penes, woodland penes, prairie penes, etc.). When a penis goes wild, each component of it resembles a vital physical function on/in a large-scale mammal. For instance, its testicles become its feet, its foreskin becomes its head, its urethral opening becomes its mouth, parts of its epididymis become its arms and paws, and maybe its pearly penile papules become its eyes-I honestly know very little to nothing about biology and everything else. Defenses: They piss on anything/anyone they dislike and threatening houses. They cumblast their natural predators, vulvae, to poison them and/or drive them away. This definition is rational as fuck! As proof, among many other places, wild penes abound in Chimi Lhakhang, Bhutan.
Idiot 1: It's just a penis. It doesn't have stingers, teeth or claws. It's completely harmless! So why the fuck are you panicking so much?!?!
Idiot 2: This was no ordinary penis, man. It could walk and breath, even though it was disembodied!
Idiot 1: No, it can't be. They went extinct more than ten millennia ago!
Idiot 2: I don't know what the motherfuck you're saying!!!
Idiot 1: I'm saying you'd better kill yourself, Idiot 2! It's the only way to avoid the misery that will befall civilization with the invasion of the wild penis.
Idiot 2: This was no ordinary penis, man. It could walk and breath, even though it was disembodied!
Idiot 1: No, it can't be. They went extinct more than ten millennia ago!
Idiot 2: I don't know what the motherfuck you're saying!!!
Idiot 1: I'm saying you'd better kill yourself, Idiot 2! It's the only way to avoid the misery that will befall civilization with the invasion of the wild penis.
by E idiots dei March 22, 2020
Get the wild penismug. 
by Dude Red May 24, 2019
Get the wild cucummermug. An extremely rare, extremely gorgeous and extremely perfect Dutch young man. Thomas Wilde's will treat you right and dick you right all day and all night. This guy is the ultimate lover and has an abnormally large penis.
by Guy who knows his shit B May 10, 2017
Get the Thomas Wildemug. The state of being in a frenzy of constantly offending people with outrageous jokes of high shock value
Critics of the 2013 Oscars complained that Seth MacFarlane went shock wild with his perceived misogynistic and racist jokes, oblivious to the fact that it was amateur hour compared to his usual material.
by JohnnyLurg March 7, 2013
Get the shock wildmug. by Realmeatboy June 7, 2016
Get the Wild Meatmug. Modern day society. Despite us believing our world to be a controlled and civilized, the urban wild is the real reality.
Anything can happen out there in the urban wilderness. Common wildlife such as entitled pricks, senile seniors, random f*ckboys, beta males, lunks, gang bangers and a whole slew of other wild animals can be found randomly at any given time.
Urban wilds are dangerous, and it's recommended that you remain alert around wildlife as they some can become extremely hostile for no reason other than a parking spot, or road rage.
The entitled baby boomers are known for their strange call "hit me and I'll sue!" while the gang bangers are a more dangerous threat that all too often jostle their prey with strikes to the head and neck.
Steer clear of the urban wild at night, as predators tend to come out to hunt for prey they can take money, organs or whatever horrors they can think of for their amusement.
It's funny we call our society predictable, but we can't predict what the guy next to us is gonna do in the next 5 minutes. This is why it's called the urban wild.
Anything can happen out there in the urban wilderness. Common wildlife such as entitled pricks, senile seniors, random f*ckboys, beta males, lunks, gang bangers and a whole slew of other wild animals can be found randomly at any given time.
Urban wilds are dangerous, and it's recommended that you remain alert around wildlife as they some can become extremely hostile for no reason other than a parking spot, or road rage.
The entitled baby boomers are known for their strange call "hit me and I'll sue!" while the gang bangers are a more dangerous threat that all too often jostle their prey with strikes to the head and neck.
Steer clear of the urban wild at night, as predators tend to come out to hunt for prey they can take money, organs or whatever horrors they can think of for their amusement.
It's funny we call our society predictable, but we can't predict what the guy next to us is gonna do in the next 5 minutes. This is why it's called the urban wild.
The Urban wild is a Jungle out there!
Never travel in the urban wilds without a weapon or a friend, or both.
Never travel in the urban wilds without a weapon or a friend, or both.
by BigPeterLilNuts May 20, 2019
Get the urban wildmug.