A theorem created by Harrison Montour on March 22, 2024
X*9+X+9=X9
This theorem works with any Positive, Whole number.
X*9+X+9=X9
This theorem works with any Positive, Whole number.
by Scooter08 March 22, 2024
Get the The Montourian Theorem mug.VHS Theorem
aka The Downward-Value Utility Arbitrage Principle
/vee-aitch-es thee-uh-ruhm/
Definition:
A consumer hack for maximum lifestyle value on a pauper budget. The VHS Theorem states: when something’s cultural clout collapses faster than its functionality, its utility-per-dollar skyrockets. In plain English: if it still works but nobody wants it, it’s basically magic.
Mechanics:
Cultural Abandonment – everyone chases the new shiny thing.
Functional Persistence – the old stuff still works fine.
Depression Pricing – sellers panic-sell at rock-bottom prices.
Utility Extraction – you live like a sultan on a scratch-off budget.
Examples:
VHS tapes, DVDs, old game consoles, CRT TVs, secondhand instruments, cast iron, estate sale gold — basically anything that fell out of fashion but still functions.
When culture abandons it, the wise inherit it.
aka The Downward-Value Utility Arbitrage Principle
/vee-aitch-es thee-uh-ruhm/
Definition:
A consumer hack for maximum lifestyle value on a pauper budget. The VHS Theorem states: when something’s cultural clout collapses faster than its functionality, its utility-per-dollar skyrockets. In plain English: if it still works but nobody wants it, it’s basically magic.
Mechanics:
Cultural Abandonment – everyone chases the new shiny thing.
Functional Persistence – the old stuff still works fine.
Depression Pricing – sellers panic-sell at rock-bottom prices.
Utility Extraction – you live like a sultan on a scratch-off budget.
Examples:
VHS tapes, DVDs, old game consoles, CRT TVs, secondhand instruments, cast iron, estate sale gold — basically anything that fell out of fashion but still functions.
When culture abandons it, the wise inherit it.
“Picked up 50 VHS tapes for $20 and watched classics all weekend. Totally The VHS Theorem at work, my man!"
by NakedEdmund December 17, 2025
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Theory identifying the cause of a consistent, vague odour of fecal matter i.e. absolute shit, in some.
The theory states: initially, said person, has failed to properly wipe their crack fully, thus leaving remnants of shit (dingleberries). With strenuous activity and/ or heat, sweat develops within the ass crack. This sweat mixes with the now encrusted and dried fecal matter, bringing it back to life, creating a noxious fume- comparable to shitting your pants.
Proposed in 2006.
The theory states: initially, said person, has failed to properly wipe their crack fully, thus leaving remnants of shit (dingleberries). With strenuous activity and/ or heat, sweat develops within the ass crack. This sweat mixes with the now encrusted and dried fecal matter, bringing it back to life, creating a noxious fume- comparable to shitting your pants.
Proposed in 2006.
Turdpreet: 'Yo, geeza, I swear i can smell shit ya' know; like full on shit!'
Shitinderpal: 'Yeh geez, me too. I smell it all the time in this lesson, it's probably (insert name here), 'cus he's so fat- he properly can't wipe his arse properly!'
Turdepreet: 'Oh yeah, that's a good point, that ties in nicely with the 'crack sweat' theorem (2006). That explains it!'
Shitinderpal: 'Oi (insert name here) you fat twat, go wipe your bumhole son, you need some bleach in there, smells like hardcore shit!'
Shitinderpal: 'Yeh geez, me too. I smell it all the time in this lesson, it's probably (insert name here), 'cus he's so fat- he properly can't wipe his arse properly!'
Turdepreet: 'Oh yeah, that's a good point, that ties in nicely with the 'crack sweat' theorem (2006). That explains it!'
Shitinderpal: 'Oi (insert name here) you fat twat, go wipe your bumhole son, you need some bleach in there, smells like hardcore shit!'
by Anonymous Bosch June 13, 2012
Get the The 'crack sweat' theorem mug.Out of all possible combinations of events there will always be at least one that will make it possible for someone to be on the Joe Rogan podcast within the space of a week.
by guldan November 11, 2021
Get the The Joe Rogan Theorem mug.The idea that "having a better understanding of a game makes you even more likely to cheat", coined by video game speed running Youtuber Karl Jobst.
Guy 1: There's no way Billy Mitchell could have cheated on Donkey Kong, he's so good!
Guy 2: The fact that he is so good at the game means he knows how to cheat better at it, it's a textbook example of the Karl Jobst Theorem.
Guy 2: The fact that he is so good at the game means he knows how to cheat better at it, it's a textbook example of the Karl Jobst Theorem.
by prokymannpron May 25, 2021
Get the The Karl Jobst Theorem mug.by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim May 1, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>Blossom: THe Stroot Boot Theory<.7.9.7.6.> mug.People often jump to a conclusion about something based on what they see in front of them. Said conclusion is usually not based in fact.
(setting- a hotel room in Mackinac Island)
Me: Where is the TV?
My mom: They don't allow TVs on the island.
Me: Yet another application of the wicker chair theorem!
Me: Where is the TV?
My mom: They don't allow TVs on the island.
Me: Yet another application of the wicker chair theorem!
by tiffany0128 May 21, 2011
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