Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.

I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.

by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020

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Hammer beast

A person that is the best at something. The beast of beasts!

Have you even seen him draw? He's a hammer beast! His talent is incredible!

by Skateboard April 19, 2017

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Bitch Hammer

The hammer I kill bitches with. Any device or means to shut a bitch the fuck up! An over the top reply to the nagging bitch that is always present. An all purpose cock that always gets the job done.

"When Barrack finally grew tired of that dykes complaints over sexism he dropped the bitch hammer on her."
"Michele Bachman needs to be nailed with a bitch hammer"
"Every time that cunt opens her mouth I either reach for my cock or the bitch hammer to shut her up."
"No one could stand Amy's friend Rachel until Adam grudge fucked her with a bitch hammer.

by Scarcazim October 9, 2013

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hammer bat

presumably a crude mix between, obviously, a bat and a hammer, which would essentially have the same general function as either a bat or a hammer, with slight aesthetic variation.

also the last thing you want to see in your google feed when looking for help with a missing hammer.bat file.

Dennis: "Dude, check this out. Stay with me here, what if someone made a hammer... bat..."
Quincy: "Shut up, Dennis."
Dennis: "I'm gonna do it."

Google: "What? He actually did it? This deserves two full pages, at least."
4chan: "Shut up, Google."
Google: "Get a search bar."
4chan: "Never."
Steam: "Holy shit. You guys, someone actually made a hammer bat."
Troll: "Whoever is writing this needs to shut up."
Steam: "That is hilarious, who named this hammer.bat? You, James? You get a raise."

Quincy: "..."
Dennis: "Dude, I TOLD you. HAMMERBAT bro. hammer. bat."
Quincy: "Oh my GOD, and you're STILL talking about it."
Dennis: "hammerrrre batito."
Quincy: "Fuck you, dude, the hammer bat is still stupid."
Dennis: "Dude, you are so jealous! You're jealous of the hammer bat!"
Quincy: "No..."
Dennis: "Oh you're not jealous?"
Quincy: "Absolutely not!"
Dennis: "You're not jealous of the three pages in google when you type in hammer bat?"
Quincy: "Oh come on, you don't have to look it up now... Jesus."
Dennis: "Three pages. They call that a hat trick, son. A hammer bat trick... Patrick."
Quincy: "You can't even type, you typed in 'hammer.bat', you fool. You absolute fool!"
Dennis: "Oh my god, it's fine, Quincy, see? It still comes up with the hammer bat. Three pages, boys . Read 'em and weep."
Quincy: "Oh my god, shut UP, Dennis."

by hawkjames October 14, 2013

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