When one completes a bowel movement that is of such a length that one end extends above the surface of the water in the toilet bowl resembling the ubiquitous grainy photo of the mythical Scottish Leviathan.
I just ate 90 chicken wings. I bet you twenty dollars that tomorrow's morning dump will be a chocolate Loch-Ness.
by shitty wizard March 14, 2011
Get the Chocolate Loch-Ness mug.If you chuck in a mythical monster which no-one in a huge crowd has ever seen, make him out to be the cutest thing since Gizmo, and situate in a growing land with no-one to bother you, you've got one booming business!
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
Roaaaar! Im Nessie, i can speak over so languages and im lovable and cute, so why dont you buy your kids some of my over-expensive inexpensible merchandise? your kids will love you for years to come. unless you dont like kids. You like kids- dont you?
Loch Ness Tourism Board
Loch Ness Tourism Board
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
Get the Loch Ness mug.Related Words
nessa
• Nessa Barrett
• nessasexual
• nessaddicted
• nessah
• nessarose
• Nessa BackshotZ
• nessa bannesa
• nessa j
• Nessa L
hey winny do you know nessabarret
is that the girl who broke the world record for the biggest shart?
yes!
is that the girl who broke the world record for the biggest shart?
yes!
by choppingboards October 3, 2020
Get the nessabarret mug.To strike or hit somebody's man-boobs with a blunt, and often hard, object.
The assailant or attacker usually exclaims "Nessle!" immmediately after the act has been commited.
The assailant or attacker usually exclaims "Nessle!" immmediately after the act has been commited.
by thanksamillionz May 24, 2005
Get the nessle mug.by Sal March 30, 2005
Get the Ness mug.The essence of nerdiness that makes one eligible for membership in the Murray State University Honors Program, or HP. Especially present in the freshman class of 04-05. Marked by an addiction to the HP Forum and a love for hanging out with other HP-ers.
Tyler is the HP king because he has the biggest HP-ness.
After Christmas break, I was really needing some HP-ness.
After Christmas break, I was really needing some HP-ness.
by Shannon March 2, 2005
Get the HP-ness mug.screwed anyway you look at it, fucked no matter what you do,
stuck between a rock and a hard place, and some one with a gun
stuck between a rock and a hard place, and some one with a gun
Your wife walks in to a bar and sees you cheating, at the same time some one wants to fight you , but he has 5 guys and your buddies are passed out drunk, and with the whole wife thing, you find her cheating as the guy she is with walks in after her,
then you say to your self
" This is a Tri-fecta of Fucked-ness
then you say to your self
" This is a Tri-fecta of Fucked-ness
by hawkmo February 4, 2010
Get the tri-fecta of fucked-ness mug.