handle my business

To masterbate or play with oneself.

"I was so fucking horny, I had to handle my business."

by HotDyke August 2, 2006

Left-handed Web Site

A pornography site on the internet. The name is derived from the practice of using the left hand to manipulate the mouse, thus leaving the right hand free for self-abusing purposes

"Nah, I think I'll just stay home tonight, have a few drinks, and find a left-handed web site or two"

by Stabsunteroffizier Wunderbar February 29, 2008

left handed compliment

An insult disguised as a compliment.

A left handed compliment would be something like the following..."I like your imperfections. Without them you'd be really hot, but boring."

by NLM1992 July 2, 2009

3 Axe Handles Wide

Term that refers to a person with a big ass. 3 axe handles wide is measured to an axe that is turned horizontal, and timed by 3, which creates the notion of a wide ass.

Person A: Look at the size of that man!

Person B: I know, dude's ass has to be 3 Axe Handles Wide!

by BATMANCAUCASIAN June 6, 2009

handerson

process of giving a handjob, usual up in a lofted bed or nook.

Term keyed by a delta gamma sorority girl who performed it on her boyfriend in a fraternity house bed

Kate gave Billy a vicious handerson yesterday, the whole hallway was shaking!

by B Baldwin May 12, 2009

Finger handleballs

this resulted from a mispronouncation of finger handle bars, which is like a finerstache, only you get hand bars, instead of a moustache. After much debate, the group of new words (websters) decided it was a piercing that people got that involved piercing large rings through both testicles so your girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. could handle you by them.

Bob: Dude, did you hear Josh got him some Finger Handlebars?

Joe: GROSS! Wat is he, gay? those are for gays

Bob: HEY MAN! -drops pants- i have them too!

Joe: -pulls bob by his finger handleballs- you fucking faggot.

by SPECIALEDDIE October 20, 2008

turd handler

for lack of better words, one who is a complete fucking douche bag.

"Jared ate the last piece of pizza." "That guy is a fucking turd handler."

by rob metzgar January 14, 2009