computer engineering

A profession that is hard to learn, hard to practise.

Computer engineering students usually wear plaid shirts and rimless eyeglasses.

by gcx February 22, 2011

computer clap

When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.

Attributed to Lane Leipold

"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "

by Salty 40 May 12, 2018

computer witness

A particular subgenre of computer geek. Someone who is obsessed with computers for the sake of computers and not for what they can do. Will often spend hours running performance tests and having "races" between different chips with various programs without ever getting any actual work done on said equipment.

Gene longs for the good old days of the Macs-vs-PCs war...those were some good times, up late with a flat of Mountain Dew and all his buddies racing their computers. Gene is a computer witness.

by DJ HORSERACING ACCIDENTS September 1, 2004

Computer Snag

Using a temporarily open computer even though you know that someone was using it and will return momentarily.

My brother got pissed because I computer snagged him.

by commanderpoop May 18, 2009

Crowd Computing

A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.

Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.

Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."

Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."

by Tragic Stan November 20, 2010

computer guru

Someone who is extremely skilled with computers. A step above your run-of-the-mill computer genius.

When the Internet stopped working, Dave installed an Internet proxy server on his phone (which still had Internet), and reconfigured their wireless router to forward TCP/IP packets through his phone so that his family could still watch Netflix on their laptops. He is quite the computer guru!

by guy354 September 17, 2016

Computer Show

Computer Show™ was a web show starring Mars Argo and Titanic Sinclair. They were directed by Tony katai, Titanic's friend. The show itself lasted from 2009 to 2014, but then it suddenly stopped, due to Mars and Titanic breaking up. Since then, they were deleted from Mars' and Titanic's YouTube channel, but there are tons of re-uploads.

~ Man, i really miss old Computer Show™ days...

- Same. I loved seeing Mars and Titanic do random stuff :(

by Ma neme a jeff May 5, 2018