by ASC3 March 10, 2021
Lucifer "Back to the cage.... Oh, not THIS place again! What in the..."
God "Hey, look! I made a guy!"
Adam "Hello."
Lucifer "Oh great it talks-What in the hell is going on here!? You made a guy!? Why would you even-"
God "Yup. I made a guy. He's like us... Kind of. It's pretty good, man, I'm having him name all the stuff."
Lucifer "Great! Just great! You know there's an ethical-"
God "Hey, we're gonna go name some stuff, alright? See ya later!"
Lucifer 😮 💨 "..... Alright...."
*A few hours later*
Lucifer "Oh great... There's two of them..."
God "We're back! Man, that was fun! We named a bunch of stuff today."
Lucifer "Care to explain... That?"
God "Ooooh... Right. Yeah, Adam was saying that he gets a little lonely when I'm not around so... There. I made her out of one of his ribs."
Eve "Hello."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "So, what? Now he has an odd number of ribs?"
God "What? No. That would be stupid-"
Lucifer "AAAAHH!! OK! YUP! You're right! Why would I think that!? How could I have been so stupid!?"
God "It's ok but calm down you're gonna scare em."
Adam & Eve 😖
Adam "Snake!" 🫵
God "Ope! Ha! You're snake! That's hilarious!"
Lucifer "I'm not a snake..."
God "Well, this has been fun but I need a nap. Goodnight everybody!"
God "Hey, look! I made a guy!"
Adam "Hello."
Lucifer "Oh great it talks-What in the hell is going on here!? You made a guy!? Why would you even-"
God "Yup. I made a guy. He's like us... Kind of. It's pretty good, man, I'm having him name all the stuff."
Lucifer "Great! Just great! You know there's an ethical-"
God "Hey, we're gonna go name some stuff, alright? See ya later!"
Lucifer 😮 💨 "..... Alright...."
*A few hours later*
Lucifer "Oh great... There's two of them..."
God "We're back! Man, that was fun! We named a bunch of stuff today."
Lucifer "Care to explain... That?"
God "Ooooh... Right. Yeah, Adam was saying that he gets a little lonely when I'm not around so... There. I made her out of one of his ribs."
Eve "Hello."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "So, what? Now he has an odd number of ribs?"
God "What? No. That would be stupid-"
Lucifer "AAAAHH!! OK! YUP! You're right! Why would I think that!? How could I have been so stupid!?"
God "It's ok but calm down you're gonna scare em."
Adam & Eve 😖
Adam "Snake!" 🫵
God "Ope! Ha! You're snake! That's hilarious!"
Lucifer "I'm not a snake..."
God "Well, this has been fun but I need a nap. Goodnight everybody!"
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
Yeah, this is going to be like a whole cage series thing.
God "... And aren't you cute? Yesh you are! Oh yesh you are! Hujabuja!"
Lucifer "What in the hell are you... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE!?" 😱
God "Yeah! This orb got some montsers on it dawg! It pretty good!" 😁
Lucifer "How in the hell did this HAPPEN!?"
God "Well, there were a bunch of these, like, algae type things and they, like, hyper-oxidized the atmosphere and then there were a bunch of single celled organisms."
Lucifer 😑 Single celled organisms?.... Like a sperms?..."
God 😳 "What!? Um, er... Nowhywouldyousaythat!? They aren't a... sperms!"
Lucifer 😨 "UGH AW FUCK YOU FUCKED IT YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKED THE ORBS!"
God "Nonononononono! I... They just... Appeared! Look at em. They're turning into stuff."
Lucifer "What is WRONG with you!? What is this!? What IS that!?"
God "Oh, yeah... It's like a teeth monster... It floats around in the goo and it, like, munches stuff, man... It's pretty sick."
Lucifer "What does it munch? What does it DO? and what about the rest of them?"
God "Um... Well... They're all basically teeth monsters and what they do is.... Um... eat... each other..."
Lucifer ".......... Say that again..."
God "They eat each other...."
Lucifer "Oh, man! That's... That is... WOW man.... And that's it? They just... Eat each other?"
God "Well... Yeah I mean... What else are they going to do? Make a bunch of orbs?"
God "... And aren't you cute? Yesh you are! Oh yesh you are! Hujabuja!"
Lucifer "What in the hell are you... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE!?" 😱
God "Yeah! This orb got some montsers on it dawg! It pretty good!" 😁
Lucifer "How in the hell did this HAPPEN!?"
God "Well, there were a bunch of these, like, algae type things and they, like, hyper-oxidized the atmosphere and then there were a bunch of single celled organisms."
Lucifer 😑 Single celled organisms?.... Like a sperms?..."
God 😳 "What!? Um, er... Nowhywouldyousaythat!? They aren't a... sperms!"
Lucifer 😨 "UGH AW FUCK YOU FUCKED IT YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKED THE ORBS!"
God "Nonononononono! I... They just... Appeared! Look at em. They're turning into stuff."
Lucifer "What is WRONG with you!? What is this!? What IS that!?"
God "Oh, yeah... It's like a teeth monster... It floats around in the goo and it, like, munches stuff, man... It's pretty sick."
Lucifer "What does it munch? What does it DO? and what about the rest of them?"
God "Um... Well... They're all basically teeth monsters and what they do is.... Um... eat... each other..."
Lucifer ".......... Say that again..."
God "They eat each other...."
Lucifer "Oh, man! That's... That is... WOW man.... And that's it? They just... Eat each other?"
God "Well... Yeah I mean... What else are they going to do? Make a bunch of orbs?"
Lucifer "How about literally anything other than eat each other and NOTHING ELSE!? They literally do nothing other than eat each other."
God "I mean... They also kind of figure out the best way to eat each other... Like with traps or something... Generate poison in thier little goo sacks to... You know... eat each other better."
Lucifer "That... Is... Horrific..."
God "Right but, like, look at how big it's head is and how small it's arms are! Heheheheheheheh..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Oh man.... There is nothing good about that."
God "What do you mean!? Look at this guy! He can, like, not touch the ground for, like, a long as time. Check it. Flap flap flap! The guy is ridiculous man... And then it uses its feet claws to pin things down and/or grab and transport things so that it can pick them apart with it's bone face thing..."
Lucifer 😟
God "Maybe I'm saying it wrong..."
Lucifer "Get rid of it."
God "Aw... Come on..."
Lucifer *Throws rock*
God "Aw... Don't... You rocked my orb! Gah, that is gonna screw up the whole atmosphere for, like, a long time... Maaan..."
Lucifer "You're a fucking crazy person. Don't talk to me."
God "Nah, hey, this is cool. We could do stuff like this with all the cages... Right... Ope... You're gone... Well.... I guess it's just me and the orb now...." *Zip*
God "I mean... They also kind of figure out the best way to eat each other... Like with traps or something... Generate poison in thier little goo sacks to... You know... eat each other better."
Lucifer "That... Is... Horrific..."
God "Right but, like, look at how big it's head is and how small it's arms are! Heheheheheheheh..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Oh man.... There is nothing good about that."
God "What do you mean!? Look at this guy! He can, like, not touch the ground for, like, a long as time. Check it. Flap flap flap! The guy is ridiculous man... And then it uses its feet claws to pin things down and/or grab and transport things so that it can pick them apart with it's bone face thing..."
Lucifer 😟
God "Maybe I'm saying it wrong..."
Lucifer "Get rid of it."
God "Aw... Come on..."
Lucifer *Throws rock*
God "Aw... Don't... You rocked my orb! Gah, that is gonna screw up the whole atmosphere for, like, a long time... Maaan..."
Lucifer "You're a fucking crazy person. Don't talk to me."
God "Nah, hey, this is cool. We could do stuff like this with all the cages... Right... Ope... You're gone... Well.... I guess it's just me and the orb now...." *Zip*
by Hym Iam February 16, 2023
God "Hahaha! Aw, don't be a spoiled-sport.... Ouch... Stings a little bit... Weird..."
Lucifer 😤 *Storms off*
God "Nah, Hey! That's kind of fun. Do another."
Lucifer "A ROCK TOO HEAVY FOR YOU TO LIFT!"
God "Bam! A rock whose weight is directly proportionate to the amount of force used to try and lift it. Can't lift it. Even with an infinite amount of force."
Lucifer 😒 "But if you can't lift the rock then..."
God "If the space around the rock decreases the weight of all things within the space by a factor of 1 then I can still lift it. If it doesn't; I can't..."
Lucifer "ARGH!" *Storms off again*
God "Ha! Imagine if there was a guy that said that... Like, canonically... He could put a thing on some goo... Ride around on it or something... Give him an eye patch... He'd be all... 'Argh!'... That'd be neat, right? Heh..."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️
God "There once was a guy who did that thing I said... And then there was this other guy... And then he, like, tried to stop the first guy or something... Hmm... Storytelling could use some work... Meh, I'll work on it..."
Lucifer 👿 "And what are you going to do? You're just going to sit there in the cage?"
God "Hmm? Yeah, er, I donno... I don't really have to DO anything... Do a dance or something... Take a nap..." 🤷
Lucifer 😤 *Storms off*
God "Nah, Hey! That's kind of fun. Do another."
Lucifer "A ROCK TOO HEAVY FOR YOU TO LIFT!"
God "Bam! A rock whose weight is directly proportionate to the amount of force used to try and lift it. Can't lift it. Even with an infinite amount of force."
Lucifer 😒 "But if you can't lift the rock then..."
God "If the space around the rock decreases the weight of all things within the space by a factor of 1 then I can still lift it. If it doesn't; I can't..."
Lucifer "ARGH!" *Storms off again*
God "Ha! Imagine if there was a guy that said that... Like, canonically... He could put a thing on some goo... Ride around on it or something... Give him an eye patch... He'd be all... 'Argh!'... That'd be neat, right? Heh..."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️
God "There once was a guy who did that thing I said... And then there was this other guy... And then he, like, tried to stop the first guy or something... Hmm... Storytelling could use some work... Meh, I'll work on it..."
Lucifer 👿 "And what are you going to do? You're just going to sit there in the cage?"
God "Hmm? Yeah, er, I donno... I don't really have to DO anything... Do a dance or something... Take a nap..." 🤷
by Hym Iam February 15, 2023
by The greeble muncher August 5, 2023