18 definitions by Townsman

An bountifully haired pubic region, usually on a female, with the appearance of a part stuffed mattress.

Uncommon due to the exponential growth of styled pubic depilation amongst the teen and twenty something demographic.
Wow look at that!!

Ya think it's a merkin?

Mebbe, but it is a she is a true Mattress Lap
by Townsman March 13, 2016
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Most usually the overly large size of a glans of a penis relative to its shaft.

Usually a mushroomhead will require circumcision of the penis to allow painfree erections around puberty.
Dave loved the attention his mushroomhead gained him at the nude beach.

Andy and Luke spent hours studying Bob's mushroomhead.

Jackie found Sam's mushroomhead almost too much for one girl's capacity, but it was so worth it!
by Townsman December 30, 2015
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A motoring version of Last of the Summer Wine for petrol heads.

Three mid-life guys pratting about and having a ball in expensive motorcars, usually with no definable reason but with amusing results. Moreso with Top Gear challenges.

Probably the most entertaining programme on the BBC.
Did you see Top Gear?

Yeah, that Zonda is wicked.
by Townsman September 27, 2014
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To fit a penis cage voluntarily as part of a celebate lifestyle choice
Tony loved his cock cage although his naturist friend's thought his self-locker celebacy a litle extreme.

Tina was determined to see why Matty was so happy in his self-locker status

The parson's sermon on sexual excess drove Simon to become a self-locker.

Once he'd become a self-locker Mikey knew he'd made the right lifestyle choice
by Townsman December 29, 2015
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Two erect guys who use their erect cocks like sword thrusting and parrying blows from the cocks. Sometimes enhanced by the wearing of penis sounds for the sound of metal on metal or flesh...
Julian and Sandy enjoyed a mutual wank and then a sparring session; like the true swordsmen they were.

Emma watched the gay vid of two swordsmen sparring as she teased her clitty.

Alan and I are swordsmen after a day at the nude beach.
by Townsman December 30, 2015
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sissy-gurls bi-sexual guys being feminised by a dominant female. usually involves dressing in very fem clothing; usually with abundant frills and bowed ribbons plus the use of a penis cage or other bdsm device to deny the sissy-gurl access to their gurl-clit (penis) to masturbate or become erect without permission.
Dave's sissy-gurl nature made barbie his fashion icon.

Hey look it Davida my doesn't she look good as a sissy-gurl.
by Townsman December 29, 2015
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Highly reactive breasts usually in response to any body movement once free of a bra.

Breasts that look like they are being manipulated by an unseen source, not the exclusive province of large breasts.
Fiona had the body movement of a fine swiss watch, and her boobies marked her out as a 'jiggle tits'.

The guys went Jiggle Tit spotting at the topless beach.

One or two dancers at the Moulin Rouge were famous for owning Jiggle Tits
by Townsman March 13, 2016
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