rating wanker

Someone who watches TV shows / films solely based on their ratings or someone who has to check the ratings of everything before committing

Joe you have to check the rating of everything, you're such a rating wanker

by Jadeydiddle April 6, 2017

Phone Wanker

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.

I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!

by JayWon April 21, 2017

Sweaty Wanker

The act of wanking to the beat of rap god and snorting cocaine off your step-Gammy’s sweaty ass crack

Damn bro I heard you were at your Gam Gam’s house doing a sweaty wanker.

by DirtyGoblinReceiver69 December 14, 2019

Macro Wanker

A male that jerks off incessantly. His masturbatory activities are on a level that is so large in scale and scope it’s well beyond your average male that gives it an occasional tug.

Dude you are such a macro wanker. Do you ever not watch porn and wank? Do you ever leave your room?

My roommate was a macro wanker. I could always hear him but rarely ever saw him.

My porn addiction has turned me into a macro wanker.

by Dick Onchin September 27, 2020

Oban Wanker

Oban wankers are people who have difficulty spelling, piss you off easily and hang about in large groups. Even when they try to be nice they still fail as they go about it in a ridiculous way. They may wear chinos on occasion even though they claim chinos are wankers. Some even reach the extent of not knowing how to spoon. You do not have to be from Oban to be an Oban Wanker.

"I dought it, im wearing my chinos"
"your such an Oban Wanker"

by alemk October 29, 2011

willy wanker

people mostly dudes who are obsessed with porn down loads.

That dude many has a fucking million porn down loads. this dudes an obvious willy wanker.

by thomas knight April 22, 2008

Wetsuit Wanker

Inspired by the words of fellow Inbetweeners classmates when describing Will, the 'new kid', as a "Briefcase Wanker".

Coined while on holiday in Cornwall, England, the term "Wetsuit Wanker" was used to describe the numerous surfers, bodyboarders and those who do neither of the above while still subscribing to the 'Surf Bum' lifestyle/image; the term also extends to anyone has appointed themselves the possition of 'Newquay Lifeguard' and proudly dons the respective hoody.

Wetsuit Wankers can be seen in and around most seaside towns in Cornwall and Devon; and, on the most part, serve no other purpose than to influence more impressionable people into participating in their Wetsuit Wankery.

"Are there any real shops in Newquay? M&S? Burtons? Or are there only shops for Wetsuit Wankers?"

"Oh no, he's gone and hired a wetsuit and now hes trying to bodyboard! Alass, our good friend has become a Wetsuit Wanker; we can no longer associate with him."

by Dan Ceiley August 18, 2008