Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass.

modern day application of: "The lesser of two evils"

Child: "I can't decide what to do, mom. Should I lie to my new friend and tell her she looks good even though she doesn't? Or should I come straight out and tell her she looks god awful?"

Mom: "You know son, Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass."

Child: "You're right! Thanks mommy!"

by Jordan (Captain Awesome) November 6, 2006

better the devil you know

Said when it's better for you to know someone that's a dick than to not know someone who's a dick. Or it's better to deal with someone/something you don't like than to deal with something/someone that you DON'T know. Similar meaning to keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

"Ugh that Paul's being a right knob at work... He's after that promotion!"
"Like they say though, better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

by kweenmcr September 22, 2016

Better Than Sex

A phrase used way to much, I can understand somethings can be pretty awesome, but seriously, making a really long light before it turns red is not better than sex.

Nico: I know you're really hungry, but don't you think you're exaggerating a bit?

Queen of England: Nope, this doughnut is better than sex.

Nico: No, no it isn't.

Queen of England: Whatevs

by SMSchoirboy June 2, 2012

betting pencil

A small dick

Was it a mega-dobber or a betting pencil?

by wisewithnoname May 3, 2017

Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick

Not bad.

Pier: How was last night's SSS?
Chappo: Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.

by Chappo January 20, 2004

better run bitch

When you have to run as fast as you can from someone who is going to kick your ass

1. "Hey I fucked your girlfriend yesterday." "Brb!" "What?" " Better Run Bitch!!!"

by Sorry mate August 24, 2015

Looks Better on Paper

When someone's interests and hobbies match up perfectly with yours (for example, the answers often filled in on social networking websites), but your personalities do not.

"On his facebook profile he said he was into vintage, indie rock, and coffee, so I thought we'd be a perfect match. When we hung out he was totally lame. I guess he just looks better on paper."

by erinn windsor April 16, 2009