Giger Wanker

A Giger Wanker is someone who straps themselves to a ceiling whilst wearing a gas mask and then proceeds to masturbate to a slide show of H.R. Giger paintings. Traditionally they will mutter, "this is normal, this is normal," to themselves until they cum when they will shout, "take that sexual perversion!"

"Why is every guy I meet gay, married or a Giger Wanker?"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

wankers cramp

Soreness in the hand - and in particular, the wrist - brought on by excessive or inhuman levels of masturbation. Known to cause chafing and in some cases, bleeding, to the area in question.

Tom Hanks' character in Saving Private Ryan was a sufferer of Wankers cramp.

by CommieKras May 19, 2010

wankendorf

a small town in north germany with the most coolest name a town could be blessed with!

i went to wankendorf via pisdorf and cunter (these are two other german towns, honest)

by murphycat August 3, 2008

Dubstep Wanker

Often jokingly reffered to as a Dubstep-o-sexual. A young sexually frustrated man who is actually aroused by the sound of a Dubstep bass-wobble. They will typically use songs by Skrillex or Borgore as a substitute for porn.

A tell-tale sign of a dubstep wanker is when a song they particularly like comes on the radio and they let out a high-pitched sound of exitement, not unlike a the cliche-fake-female orgasm

Person 1: *hears "Ruffneck" come on the radio* "OH MY GOD... mm I fucking love this track!"

Person 2: *under his breath* "total dubstep wanker..."

by ArcadeFire10 October 23, 2011

Student Wankers

Those dirty posh uni cunts with a penchant for tweed & indie. The Student Wanker is not complete with out one or more piece of Ché Guvara merchandise & in in-depth knowlege of Neighbours. The Greater Spotted Student Wanker will consider themself witty & "out-there" due to their annoying "random" conversations & "wacky" geek chic. General pains in the backside.

See those student wankers in the student bar,
complaining to each other other that their grants don't go far.
With their silly student ties and their silly student scarves,
drinking draught real ale not in pints but halves.

Student Wankers, a fine song by Peter & The Test Tube Babies.

by Vambo September 20, 2006

Wanker's Helmet

After wanking and shooting your load into a tissue, you make the fatal mistake of touching the tissue to your still wet and sticky cock. this causes the tissue to absorb some of your cum and, as wet paper does, separate. On removal of the tissue you may find small scraps still clinging to flesh. These scraps must be removed manually whether at the time of the offense or some time later (when they have gone hard!)
It is a tell tale sign you have been wanking.

"Bloody wanker's helmet" he muttered as he picked the wet flecks off his purple bulldog.

After going to the loo back at her place he was horrified to find he had wanker's helmet

by Tatteru May 18, 2009

WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.

I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011