trombone

Trombone \Trom“bone\, n.
It., aug. of tromba a trumpet: cf. F
Def: A Manually operated, wind driven pitch approximator.

Near the fall of the Roman Empire, a plumber named Spitius Maximus was commissioned by Romulus Augustus H.R.I.C. to create a device that would quickly remove bilge water from the hulls of the Roman warships when in battle. It's slide-like probe would suck up bilge water which was then emptied into goat skin vessels through a "Spit Valve", (named after the inventor), then carried to the deck in the trousers of workers and dumped over the side. These workers were called "sidemen" but because the vessels of bilge under their pants made them appear to have massive drooping buttocks, huge cheeks that would sway back and forth with the rocking of the ship, they became known as "Sackbuts". Treated with much disrespect, the Sackbuts became increasingly angry and soon refused to work, tossing all of their slush pumps into the sea.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, medieval treasure hunters recovered 76 of these pumps and, believing them to be musical instruments, started a village band for boys known as the "76 Sackbuts". As music became more sophisticated, the 27 position design of the Sackbut proved too clumsy to execute the faster passages being written so, over the years, the horn was streamlined into a more agile 7 position horn and renamed the Slide Trombone.

Although the instrument has changed little since then, a more permissive, forgiving and politically correct society has lowered the bar of musical expectations. As a result the Trombone is now more commonly known as a "manually operated, wind driven pitch approximator".

by Bumper T Shirtstickers January 19, 2008

Trombone player

Person who plays trombone. The not geek to geek trombone player ratio is 1:6. Geeky trombone players tend to have voices that sound like lawn mowers and tend to think they are the best player in the section. They tend to splat (play so loud it sounds like crap).

Chris used to be a baritone player but he switched instruments but now he's a trombone player

by Skanomatopoia June 9, 2005

trombone

A sexy woman licking the asshole of a man while jack him off.

I ask the girlfriend to give me a "trombone" before dinner.

by Gemini S.Jones June 2, 2007

trombone

When your girlfriend is licking oones ass and at the same time she wanks one off.

Jocelyn's tongue was dirty and then she reached around .......... and played the trombone

by JP March 7, 2005

trombone

leveraging the reciever of oral sex to transition to a rim job. it is called this because the twisted body parts resemble a trombone

i surprised my gal when i was eating her and i pushed her leg back and licked her ass and her contorted body made me think i was playing the trombone

by akajax November 2, 2008

Turkish Trombone

The act of a woman head bobbing on a penis (much like a walking pigeon rubber necking) while she is aggressively inserting a hollow metallic tube into the asshole of the standing man.

I walked in on my lady poking her BOB (battery operated boyfriend) and she was kind enough to give me the best Turkish Trombone with the wet end.

by Mullet or Gullet February 13, 2009

Dirty Trombone

You have a female/ life partner sit on your lap. that partner then shats on your penis then proceeds to spread it around the entire shaft. You then take hold of your meat-stick and stick it into any hole off your choosing on the body of your partner.

Your vagina smells like you had a dirty trombone

by GettinDatPussy May 21, 2011