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Metric fuck ton

Exactly 42,069 pounds, calculated to be the best measurement produced by the metric system.
That is a metric fuck ton of shit!!
by Gooberdiesel October 30, 2025
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La Ke Fen ton

A team that chokes an 18 point lead
The La Lakers are a La Ke Fen Ton team
by MegaMemeLordCarlWheezerXD January 13, 2023
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shit ton

equals 23 of any object
i had 2 dozen eggs i droped one now i have a shit ton
by stewie and jorden September 30, 2009
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F-ton

An extremely large yet very specific unit of measurement. It is an amount of some object that difficult to hold or carry to the point where one could not hold or carry a single more unit of said object. Obviously different people have different people have different capacities of holding or carrying; therefore, even though a F-ton is a specific unit of measure it is also an individual dependent variable.
Me: I just bought a F-ton of groceries.
Wife: Really you can't carry anything more.

Me: well, maybe I could carry one more bag.
Wife: then it's not an F-ton you jackass it's just a lot of groceries.
by xccs December 3, 2014
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Fuck-ton

2 shit-tons, 4 assloads
Carl made a fuck-ton of mistakes on his final
by nevynevynolegs November 1, 2017
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A Ton

When you suddenly leave work without reason and no one notices for two hours
Employer:"Where is the new guy we hired?"
Employee: "he pulled a Ton"
by elle kae September 11, 2020
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30 Ton War Machine

(A) A tank. (B) Quite possibly the best band to ever grace the earth with its music. The way this band plays its music will give you happy emotions and make you feel good inside. Once you hear this band you will never feel the need to ever listen to another band again. There really are no words to describe the amazing quality of this band, but if I had to do it in one word the word would be "Boysenberry" because that is my favorite fruit.
Really cool guy: Have you heard that band, 30 Ton War Machine?

Loser: No, are they any good?

Really cool guy: The best! Also, here's that 50 bucks I owe your really hot sister...make sure she gets that, yeah?
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