masturbation

The act of 'touching' oneself in order to feel 'pleasure'. Something only done by the very lonely and desperate. One of the least attractive things one can possibly do.

Guy: Hey. I tried to work on my masturbation problem.... I couldn't resist the urges.

Girl: -gags and resists puking- ehhhhh.... you must be so lonely. No wonder you can't get a friggin girlfriend.

Guy: Dammit

by lilcurlytopUSA March 30, 2010

masturbate

You people are missing beating your meat as a synonym. And sex so beats masturbation's ass. Maybe your bf or gf just suck at sex... stick to giving head instead, lameasses.

go and masturbate, or whatever you dumbasses want to call it.

by Get it right, bitches. December 28, 2005

masturbation

Gods Gift for those who are ugly and never get laid to jerk off their desires

god:oh this ugly guy needs some pleasure let me create a tool
called masturbation to make him pleasure himself and feel what
it will be like to have sex

by chin345 December 4, 2007

masturbation

When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!

Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!

by Ultra-Ex August 5, 2008

Masturbation

A sin that offends God

My son had masturbation today and now he worries me because he offended Jesus Christ My God.

by Ghosthunter7444 July 26, 2016

masturbating

Having sex with your own hand or even using a fake dick (dildo) in the case of girls (or very messed up guys)... its very pathetic.

John is masturbating every night because he has no hope of ever having actual sex.

by CanHasHaxx February 5, 2009

masturbate

What I do when thinking of J. Jordan.

He's my swarthy little Bolshevik Med, get your own!

by Emilia Fulci June 11, 2004