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Jared

Jared Fogel, of Subway diet fame, lost 245 lbs in one year eating Subway fare. Lots of rumors about AIDS, coke, bypass surgery, but he apparently did it honestly.
Fat Bastard, to Austin Powers: "I went on the Subway diet, like Jared and lost 180 pounds. Unfortunately, now my neck looks like a vagina."
by Dr. Dutch Evil April 18, 2006
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Jared

A good name that his been ruined by that pedophile from subway.
Girl: What's your name?
Guy: Jared.
Girl: Oh, like that pedo from subway?
by Super Nigger Faggot September 22, 2018
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Related Words

Dirty Jared

When the male partner dips his nose into a tub of guacamole and then proceeds to rub and poke his nose into the female's rim. The action of rubbing and poking is akin to that of anal fisting-albeit with a nose.
Boy 1: Hey you gut any guacamole?

Boy 2: Huh? Eating some salsa?

Boy 1: Nah man, going to Dirty Jared my girl.
by SLAPPY BAG April 1, 2012
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Japser

A combo of the words "Japan" and "laser". A Japser is a weapon used in 2250. Japsers were created by the Japanese after Earth was taken over by the Irkens (ref- Invader Zim). First sed in GalaxyDancer's fanfic "Down Came The Rain" (www.fanart-central.net/stories.php?sid=11875)
"But it doesn't matter now, because I'm never going back. Ever. I will kill myself with a Japser first."

~Zim
by GalaxyDancer April 16, 2005
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Jareem

Super awesome dudes who are always chill and laid pack... if you have one as a friend you are luck AF!!! usually part asian... specifically japanese...
JareemChiller, JareemLaid back, JareemMellow
by The dude name nanajara January 1, 2012
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Jare

A kick or punch to the genitals.

More specifically, this is the alternative to a dare in the game Truth or Dare. If one takes the dare and decides after having heard the dare that they don't want to do it, that person must then accept the Jare.

Also referred to as "Dick Kick" or "Poon Punch."
Billy: I dare you to lick the rim of the toilet bowl.

Timmy: Hell no! I'm not doing that, it's disgusting!

Billy: THEN PREPARE TO BE JARE'D!
by atomicrebirth October 16, 2008
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Jared

One who humps legs until the point of ejaculation
"My boyfriend pulled a Jared last night; needless to say he got my sheets all wet and I still got nothing out of it."
by Gerch December 31, 2007
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