Dirty Hand Syndrome

Usually a product of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, this syndrome refers to those days when your hands never feel clean, no matter how many times you wash them. Throughout the day you will feel anxiety induced by an apparent mitten of filth that covers your hands. Remedies toward this syndrome: showering - merely washing your hands with soap and water will not suffice.

I've been suffering from Dirty Hand Syndrome all day...no matter how many times I wash them they never feel clean!

by anapvg5 April 22, 2010

Dick In My Hand

A phrase said to expressing male pride.
Having your "dick in your hand", though not literally, means you are holding your pride, in reference to a man's penis being his pride and joy. Often makes him feel like the shit.

Mystikal: I came up in the club with my dick in my hand!....

by The Great Houdini December 7, 2004

check my hand

1. The absolute ugliest point at which a man will have sex with a women.

1. Yo man, what about that chick? I dunno, let me check my hand. Nope! My hand still looks better than her.

by Danimal54 August 4, 2007

jazz hands vagina

When her outer lips are way out of control, and look like a bunch of flailing fingers surrounding a gaping mouth. A vagina which appears to be impersonating jazz hands.

I had to close my eyes when I went down on her, though, because she had a jazz hands vagina

by freaksalad August 14, 2014

hands-free blowjob

A hands-free blowjob is a dick-sucking a guy can give without using his hands -- MOUTH ONLY.

Sometimes, Matt wants me to give him a hands-free blowjob!

by USAF Cadet June 28, 2021

One hand on the binoculars

A phrase to insinuate that someone (usually male) was watching someone else through binoculars - already in creepy stalker territory - but was also doing so while masturbating.

Hey girl, I saw you across the street yesterday!

Yeah - with one hand on the binoculars!

by Bobstafarian June 22, 2010

Mental Hand Job

1. Modern American politics; 2. Ex-girlfriend explaining why you should take her back; 3. Anything uttered by a public defender.

When Sandy said, "But babe, I was drunk, and he didn't mean anything. I love you so much, and I'm so horny right now, couldn't I just come in for one glass of wine?" Larry thought, "Jesus, that was the best mental hand job I've ever experienced."

by pfc. snowball June 7, 2011