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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
mugGet the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermimug.

Commit an oof

Bro, don't commit an oof
by Sexually Attractive Big Mac March 21, 2020
mugGet the Commit an oofmug.

Go Commit Viki

The action of screaming incoherently at the first person you see using a mobile device.
by Alpha Mailman May 18, 2020
mugGet the Go Commit Vikimug.

commit despacito

Similar to go commit die. Very poweful not to be used lightly. After use, this phrase prevents your victim from coming back, as well as engaging their cringe detectors to the maximum amount possible, making total annihilation the only outcome.
by Spicy_Memer April 2, 2024
mugGet the commit despacitomug.

go commit vital disfunctions

This is a serious insult. Noone will ever use this, unless you are a murderer. It is incredibly strong, and will decimate.
It is started with the go commit insult.
person1: "yo fam ur mom gay"
person2: "no u bitch kys lol xd fag"
person3: "Guys, don't make me do it."
person 1 and 2: "lol bitch do it i dare you"
person3: "Alright... Go commit vital disfunctions."
*person 1 and 2 absolutely explode and are sent to another dimension where demons stick lollipops up bumholes*
by hotboylookingtomingle November 22, 2018
mugGet the go commit vital disfunctionsmug.

Go commit alt+f4 urself

The most deadly insult of all, if you say this to someone, they will instantly disappear from existence.
You should go commit alt+f4 urself kid, ur trash
by SpeedIsKey746 January 5, 2023
mugGet the Go commit alt+f4 urselfmug.

go commit bungee jump with rope

One of, if not the, worst thing you can say to someone.
Bob: Go commit not alive.
John: Go commit bungee jump with rope.
Bob: *Fricking dead.*
by Cyka420BlyatNuggets November 16, 2018
mugGet the go commit bungee jump with ropemug.

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