water the turkey

A nonsensical action that is performed for the sole purpose of making someone do work. Similar to watering a dog shit garden except that the action is forced upon by a second-party.

Guy 1: "Why is Mike late?"

Guy 2: "His parent's are probably making him water the turkey"

by jimcool126 June 25, 2008

Garrotting the Turkey

Like choking the chicken but a lot more frantic and urgent. Also known as wanking, spanking the monkey, bashing the bishop, strangling the snake, masturbating or no handed pushups

Im so horny, I need to Garrott the Turkey!

by Tim Evans February 5, 2004

Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky

Involves fisting your asshole whilst tossing yourself off.
The resulting mixture of semen and shit can be stored and served on toast.

Tyrone: I once walked in on my little brother Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky.

Declan: Nigga yo bro be a sick fuck.

by cutebabe8374 May 6, 2010

Stuffing The Turkey

Female Masturbation
See Stuffing The Chicken

Miranda is a young, ugly lesbian. She can't get any so she stuffs the Turkey.

by John Ronane January 30, 2004

Stick Shift the Turkey

The phrase "Stick Shift the Turkey" is a term meaning

1. to masterbate

2. to get a handjob

3. to re-adjust your boner in your pants

Dude you won't believe it! I got Mary to "Stick Shift the Turkey" last night.

by ReverenMac March 2, 2011

Romancing the turkey

To procrastinate, fanny about or in some way take a circuitous route to the intended result. Can be used in reference to someone avoiding the issue, beating about the bush or stalling

James, stop romancing the turkey and tell me what happened!

by Treg123 November 25, 2009

Stuffing the Turkey

When you rapidly finger your girls pussy

Bro I was stuffing the turkey so hard last night

by _74 December 1, 2016