beating the meat

What males should probably never do without lotion.

I walked in on the fool beating the meat dry. Damn, I hope he ain't start no fire....

by None Of Ya Damn Bid-ness April 18, 2008

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Beating the Mattress

Masturbation. Basically, if no one else is around, who are you going to beat it to but the mattress?

"John was beating the mattress so hard last night that I heard it through the wall."

"Jessica's out tonight. Guess it's me and the mattress."

by Apple-sucker July 26, 2012

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Beating the old boy's

The term is a slang used in New Zealand which describes one whom stimulates one's or own genitals with hand. The old boys refers to the hand beating the testicles while stimulating the penis.

Playing Solo: Braxton's brother Ronald told me that he walked into Braxton's room and he was beating the Beating the old boy's

Playing friends: Hey Ragsag you want to go somewhere private to beat the old boy's

by D_strikes September 18, 2017

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beating the bunny

Something everyone does but only 10% will openly admit to. Term popularized by teens during the run of the film Beating the Bunny. See spanking the monkey.

Mom: (*opens door*) WHAT...ARE...YOU...DOING?!

Billy: Just beating the bunny, mom. Chill out.

by Crazy Crazy Carl March 7, 2008

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beating the lamp

massaging the tip of your penis then sticking your finger in the hole to plug the cum up and it inflates to the shape of a lampshade.

I got an infection from beating the lamp.

by viva_vagina October 30, 2007

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beating the bald midget

1. Taking your freshly shaven cock to pound town.

2. Disciplining your smaller bald self until he gets angry enough to spit back at you.

3. Stroking yourself until climax.

I walked in on Steve and he was sitting on my bed, beating the bald midget.

by motorcycle33 December 31, 2010

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