Definitions by Apple-sucker
Beating the Mattress
Masturbation. Basically, if no one else is around, who are you going to beat it to but the mattress?
"John was beating the mattress so hard last night that I heard it through the wall."
"Jessica's out tonight. Guess it's me and the mattress."
"Jessica's out tonight. Guess it's me and the mattress."
Beating the Mattress by Apple-sucker July 26, 2012