The Bacon Hammock

The act of sex when a female is dangling from the ceiling via four or five ropes ((two for her arms and two for her legs and one extra for her midsection)) and is spread eagle in an X formation.

Loren: How's your relationship going? You still bored?

Arian: Tsh, Naw, man. I was with her last night and she was my Bacon Hammock for the night, brah.

Loren: You did The Bacon Hammock?? Awesome! I've always wanted to try that.

Arian: You should, dude, it's totally relaxing because I can just stand and sway her around while she dangles.

by infernlmagician October 16, 2009

pudding hammock

What your underwear becomes after a severe case of mud butt.

While rushing to find a toilet Jami suddenly became the proud owner of a pudding hammock.

by Matt July 28, 2008

hammuck

A noise implying "what's up" often in the context of boredom. Also, can be an informal request of play especially when texting.

txt1: "Hammuck"
txt2: "You want food?"
txt1: "Sure."

by JeromeX April 12, 2009

banana hammock

A men's style of undergarment that holds the genitalia in a sling-like hammock apparatus, allowing the meat knot to protrude offensively. Favored by greasy Europeans at the beach, and even greasier weightlifters during competition and posedown sessions.

When I was swimming at the Y the other day, this hairy Italian hedgehog was hanging out at the pool all day showing off his silky red banana hammock.

by D-MAC January 6, 2004

Shit hammock

The act of pooing, but instead of plopping into a toilet it gets cradled in your ass hair and just hangs there like a bat in the cave.

"dude What the fuck is that smell"
"oh bro, i got shit hammock'd today its just tragic."

by Nick penutbutter January 27, 2010

Tit Hammock

A cheap bra worn by horrifically overweight women in America. The sheer, elephantine mass of their saturated mammories has over-powered the 5 cents worth of Taiwanese twine pretending to be underwire and their hee-yuge boobs have come to rest together at the lowest point of gravity, creating a monoboob.

It looks like a pair of massively overweight and unshapely arms have been folded across the chest. Terrifyingly, these same women seem to adopt this position over the top of their already shudder-inducing globes.

There is a way to fix this problem, however. Take a large cardboard box, such as you might receive a new fridge-freezer in, cut a circular hole in the bottom and then another two circles on opposing sides. Place box over tit hammock owner.

Despite not correcting the fault of the $3.99 Kmart bra that was struggling for its life, it does mean that the rest of us don't have to look at it.

"Jesus-fucking-Christ, mate! Don't look left, there's a heffer wearing a tit hammock".

by Jimbles November 7, 2005

Lamb Hammock

A sexual maneuver involving two spatulas and a generous amount of bacon grease.

Kid: Mommy, can I have bacon for breakfast?
Mommy: (cutting fruit for the child's lunch) No honey your father and I used it last night.
Kid: Why?
Mommy: Adult stuff.
Kid: Why?
Mom: Because you're too young.
Kid: Oh yea? fuck, shit, buttsex, fisting, procrastibating-
Mom: Okay, okay you've proved your point. We were lamb hammocking last night.
Kid: Why?
Mom: We wanted to try something the kids were doing these days.
Kid: Why?
Mom: To put the spark back in our marriage.
Kid: Why?
Mom: So your father and I don't kill you.
awkward silence
Mom: (goes back to cutting fruit, this time more agressively) So how's school child?

by DiZeaZeD FreNcH HorN September 11, 2010