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goalie

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An ice hockey player whose job is to prevent the opposing team from scoring goals by blocking shots with various parts of his body. Goalies (also commonly referred to as goaltenders, net minders and puck stoppers) differ from any other player on the team in the sense that they do not play shifts. Goalies are expected to play the entire 60 minutes of a given hockey game on the ice.

Physical characteristics of most goaltenders include extreme flexibility, due to the necessity to be agile enough to maneuver freely to stop multiple shots in a given game. Goalies also commonly have above average reflexes, as at the professional level, often are forced to save shots exceeding speeds of 75 mph on a regular basis.

Goalies are often considered quirky and highly emotional by nature. Most goalies employ a very strict set of rituals before games. The reasoning behind their ritualistic nature is most often in order to prepare them for the game. Their personalities are often described as bi-polar and many players, including the goalie's teammates, avoid him at almost all costs on game day. Goalies' dual-sided, unpredictable emotions stem from the fact their job as a goalie is a very high stress-high reward position.

It should be noted that goalies hold the most important position on any hockey team and any smart player, though they may not like the goalie, gives the goalie both his space and respect.
Check it out rook, that's our goalie over there. On game day do not sit next to him on the bus, ask him for anything or talk to him about the game. In fact, don't make any form of contact with him at all."
by netminder December 17, 2008
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goolie-clencher

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(Or, "ball clencher", "cheek clencher", or just "clencher" for short)

A bad or painful result. Similar to having one's goolies put in a vice. Can also mean a bad or painful result for someone else.
Glen: What's up dude?
Sandeep: My God. I followed our analyst recommendation and bought Enron bonds. They've just filed for Chapter 11 and there's no bid for the shit. I've just lost $35,000,000.
Glen: Wow, that is a Class A goolie-clencher. Think you'd better find a headhunter.

Mark: How did the Quantum Mechanics exam go?
John: Terrible. Question 2, you had to derive the magnetic moment of the electron from scratch!
Mark: WHAT? What a ball-clencher! That takes hours!

Duncan: Was that snotty kid we saw last year bowling his shite?
Josh: Yeah, first two balls I smacked him for six, and then the next one I drove it back over his head for four missing his head by about 2 inches ...
Duncan: Clench!
by mp666 March 4, 2010
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Related Words

Field Hockey Goalie

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Probably one of the most important players on a field hockey team- you can't win without a good goalie.
Only the toughest and strongest girls can be good field hockey goalies. They are brave enough to let girls drive balls at over 90mph straight at them. Most people think that goalies are just one big wall of padding, but some pads have gaps in coverage that can result in extremely painful injuries if hit. Imagine getting hit with a ball going over 90mph, straight in your thigh or hip- that's what it's like to be a goalie. Balls often pop up, so goalies need to deal with shots to the arms, hips, and thighs.

Goalies have to be quick and agile, even in bulky pads. Not only is it a physical game for goalies, but it's mental, too. Goalies have to be able to bounce back quickly if (god forbid) a goal is scored on them. If an offender, middie or defender misses the ball, there's always a chance to reclaim possession. If a goalie misses a ball or misjudges her timing, then the other team scores. Offenders, mids, or defenders take heat for not winning the game, but the goalies take heat for loosing the game. Goalies have a hard job because if the defenders aren't doing what they're supposed to do, or are playing like crap, then the goalie has no hope, and will still be blamed for the loss.
Goalies are tough, courageous, determined, and extremely skilled players in one of the most aggressive sports out there. There's no one else like them.
Field Hockey Goalie: (gets slammed with a drive straight to her hip, and doesn't even break her stride as she clears the ball out of the circle)
by Cimorene96 October 7, 2010
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Dirty goulet

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Similar to a Dirty Sanchez, but you give her a goatee, a'la Robert Goulet.
I went to Vegas, picked up a bombshell & gave her a Dirty Goulet to teach her a lesson.
by Sir Roses Artie March 22, 2008
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lacrosse goalie

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Makes baseball players, soccer players, hockey goalies and every other athelete excpt for rugby players look like pussies
Lacrosse goalies are the toughest people on the planet period.
by bigc August 5, 2007
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Fun Goalie

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A wife or girlfriend that stops a man from participating in enjoyable activities.
A guy wants to go to a football game and the wife makes him go to Bed, Bath and Beyond; she is a Fun Goalie
by jackmehofff March 17, 2009
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