Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.
People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.
People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.
by Brett319 June 17, 2008
Get the functionally-retarded mug.Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016
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When a person smokes enough marijuana to feel its effects, but not enough to alter competence at regular daily tasks or create a lasting low after the effects have worn off.
Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.
Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.
Person 1: I just got some killer bud from a friend of mine. Wanna smoke?
Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.
Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.
by DJAlexxander September 8, 2011
Get the Functionally High mug.A male who is blatantly gay but acts like he is still in the closet and no one knows, when around other males, he cannot help but be flustered and out of sorts
by 5GuysGoingOneWay November 21, 2013
Get the too gay to function mug.by pandaboi031518 April 21, 2023
Get the function muffin mug.A psychopath who has a stable lifestyle and usually possess high status and influence in society. They can be anyone- CEOs, millionaires, politicians , doctors. But inspit of their high functioning they are still people without a shred of empathy or a conscience
by Default_User October 20, 2015
Get the high functioning psychopath mug.Joe: "Wow, James is drinking and it's only 7 AM."
Mike: "He's a high functioning alcoholic. He says he needs it to function."
Joe: "So he's a severe alcoholic who needs help then."
Mike: "He's a high functioning alcoholic. He says he needs it to function."
Joe: "So he's a severe alcoholic who needs help then."
by Super Thicc November 22, 2020
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