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Faecal touch

The opposite of the 'midas touch'. Rather than everything one touches turning to gold, to have the 'faecal touch' means everything one touches turns to shit.

This can be applied to people who are generally incompetent or just going through a stretch of bad luck.
'How's work going at the moment mate?'

'Just awfully dude, I definitely have the faecal touch. It doesn't matter what I seem to do or how hard I try, everything I am involved with completely fucks up and turns to shit.
by AceDegen July 27, 2010
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faecal predator

One who lures an unsuspecting individual into a poo situation, aka a shituation.
Posing as a musician, the faecal predator lured the unsuspecting barman into the toilets where a poo situation occurred.
by The Poo Victim November 14, 2013
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Related Words

Facecrastination

I was about to start my essay, when I decided to check my Facebook. 3 hours later, I still had not started the assignment. Damn facecrastination.
by Holla_at_yo_Schola! October 25, 2009
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Facecard

A reputation or line of credit in the streets due to good business and/or mutual respect.
I (the person with a good Facecard) would be known for not snitching, not skimping, being real, not oweing if I have a good Facecard.

Good Facecarder: Yo, front me a zip?
Plug: Yea fashow, I know you got me, your facecard clean bruh.
by IngenuityNotApplied May 26, 2018
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faecbook

A common misspelling of the popular website "facebook". This is a fatal mistake, however, because this will bring you to a pornographic website.
Man, I accidentally typed 'www.faecbook.com' on the internet and saw some nasty stuff. I just wanted to check my notifications!
by Antoine Chrisworth June 16, 2008
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Facecull

The process in which friend's you no longer talk to, interact with or even know are slowly removed from your friends list, manually!
539 friends.
58 Real Friends, 32 family members and the odd stalker.

Time for a Facecull me thinks ;)
by Bukk Trend October 20, 2010
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faecalphiliac

The definition of a faecalphiliac would be someone who's interest in human excrement is really more akin to a perverted sexual fetish.
"Gary likes to lick shite from the unwashed anal sphincters of females" - therefore Gary is a faecalphiliac
by Butt Munch May 29, 2003
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