Dirty Juan Valdez

When an individual wipes his ass with a cofee filter, brews a pot of fecal java and pours the brew over his woman as he slams the warhead into her. Inspired by the infamous Hot Carland Dirty Sanchez and similar to theGolden Shower.

Mr. Ken's girl was tired of getting Hot Carl'd so he surprized her on her birthday with a Dirty Juan Valdez!

by Dr. Switch October 24, 2004

Juan Valdez

A fictional character that has appeared in advertisements for the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia since 1959. He typically appears alongside his sidekick Conchita that carry's sacks of harvested coffee beans. "100% Colombian Coffee the richest coffee in the world"
Even though apparently "Juan Valdez drinks Costa Rican coffee"
He is also seen in Bruce Almighty

"Who's that guy the rides mystical donkeys though the hills of Columbia,and picks Bag after Bag of coffee beans?"
"OH that's Juan Valdez."

by the FRenchporker March 7, 2009

Exxon Valdez Syndrome

A common occurrence in most inner city public swimming pools. Pool water may consist of a toxic cocktail of up to 1/3 oil, chicken grease, urine, feces, afro sheen, lice and lice eggs. East side swimming pools are commonly afflicted with this condition.

"That new pool on Antione and MLK opened yesterday and it already has Exxon Valdez Syndrome."

by Moe Beer January 2, 2009

Red_Valdez

Someone who is leeter than Darkness.

Red Valdez > Darkness

by Red Valdez April 5, 2003

devon valdez'd

Verb. Meaning to have been blessed at birth by genetics that makes one ridiculously attractive. Not to be confused with the literal devon valdez, but rather connotation of thus stated name.

Broad use in northern texas.

"Oh man, that girl is so hot she got devon valdez'd in the eye when she was born."

"Sweet jesus, what I would give to be devon valdez'd like that fine piece of ass over there."

by XXXCanadianGod<3CS+DV July 16, 2008

Kevin “the Mexican “ Valdez

A gay Mexican wanna be black gangster, usually found on the streets of pg county, or riding around in bumper less Honda Accord with Lorenzo as passenger

I know this gay kid Kevin “the Mexican “ Valdez

by Ztz727 June 5, 2018

wet valdez

When you lick your finger and stick it into an exposed buttcrack

That sluts pants are so low I bet she wouldn't feel a wet valdez

by LAURATHEAWESOME March 17, 2011