Vampire Dick

The condition whereby you look in the mirror and you're so fat you can no longer see your cock.

After eating and drinking like a pig for the past year, I stepped out of the shower this morn and saw in my reflection that I now had vampire dick.

by Sebastiandangerfield July 18, 2018

Vampire Creativity

A marketing term used to describe advertisements with overly-developed creative themes. Viewers remember the commercial, but not the product or service it's for.

"Hey did you see that commercial where the guy has to work with an office full of monkeys?"

"Yeah that was hilarious! What was that for again?"

"Dude, I have no idea."

(In reference to CareerBuilder.com's vampire creativity)

by wingding2424 August 3, 2009

chat vampire

someone who sucks the life out of a group chat. they have to respond to everything. they have to be included in everything. they have to liveblog everything. the group chat is theirs now. you're just a spectator.

can you stop being such a chat vampire? it's literally dead all the time because you don't let anyone else respond but never have anything meaningful to say.

by deeveeesss January 5, 2022

Vampire Bandwagon

The unexplained phenomena that occurs when somebody writes some successful (albeit awful) literature on vampires, EVERYBODY decides they want to get in on the act and before you know it bookshelves are crammed with novels about romantic relationships with vampires, and you can't escape the fact that so much hype is made over the "New Moon" trailor that you would think it was the coming of Jesus.

Person 1: Hey did you read that erotica novel where a women has sex with 15 vampires and their marble like, cold cocks? (Come to think of it, if a vampire is dead, they would have no blood circulation-Edward is always described as being cold- how could they "get it up"?)
Person 2: OMG NO WAI11!!!@~~
Person 3: Ya, everybody is jumping on the vampire bandwagon...

by LOTR NERD October 30, 2009

German Vampire

When a female has her period in someone's mouth and that person runs around flapping their arms with the blood from the period drooling out of their mouth making them look like a vampire

my girlfriend who works at burger king gave me an awesome tasting german vampire last night, i ran around the city giving people kisses

by Bobby O' Conor June 3, 2008

Vampire

The vampire legend comes from the the Greek Mythological creature, Empusa, which is a creature that has the upper body of a ghost, a leg of a donkey, and a leg of bronze. Empusa fed on the blood of young men, creating the vampire legend. So therefore, vampires do NOT sparkle. Those are fairies.

Oh, that creature is defiantly a vampire.

by bookworm0503 June 5, 2011

Time Vampire

A person who finds creative ways to needlessly waste his/her friends time. Normally done during working hours, and involves elaborate, tedious and often ambiguous messages or tasks that need to be deciphered. 10 out of 10 times, it turns out to be utter nonsense.

OMG, Fraser sent us another one of his bloody cryptic messages. How he has any friends, I don't know, because he is such a fucking Time Vampire.

by Everyone Hates Fraser August 21, 2018