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twat swatter

verb. (as popularized by Dane Cook)

A slang term for a female cockblocker. A person who will try and keep you from getting what she will never have herself. Generally a freakishly unattractive, large, hairy woman, who likes to hang out with younger hotter chicks in order to try and hit on the guys that like them. However, once she notices that the guy is not into her, but into her younger hotter associate, she will do everything in her power to sabotage the relationship. Typically she will also try to get with the guy to no avail.
Girl 1: I thought that guy was really into me but all of a sudden he turned cold and his attitude changed.

Girl 2: Wow, was there anyone else involved?

Girl 1: No just Cristina from work who always hangs around. She's fugly though.

Girl 2: Dude, sounds like she pulled a twat swatter on you. I'd kick her fugly ass.
by DaneCookFan27 July 14, 2009
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twat swatter

the female version of the cock blocker. A female who prevents another female from having sex with someone.
Jane: I want to see Kyle tonite to watch a movie and snuggle.

Mary: Well how about I stop by around 10:30 then and we can all go to see that She's Just not that into you movie?

Jane: I swear to god Mary you need to quit twat swatting me because I just want to get some dick from Kyle. I mean Jesus Mary, you twat swat me like everytime I see Kyle, I just want to spend some time alone with him. You need to quit being a no-good twat swatter!

Mary: Oh my God Jane, I had no idea I was twat swattin' you like that. I apologize and it will not happen again.

Jane: Oh Mary thank you so much. I am sorry for being such a Ho-ma. I just haven't gotten to ride the bologna pony for like 3 weeks now.
by Barack Obama's new dog February 7, 2009
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Related Words

Thwat Swatter

Any woman that blocks another woman from having sex by doing or saying something to ruin the mood. (like Cock Blocker but with women)
"I wanted to bang her, but her thwat swatter of a friend made it impossible."
by CRO15 May 19, 2009
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Sweltering

I'm absolutely sweltering in this heat.
by Stanmore August 21, 2008
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Twat Swatter

The act or words of a female that prevents another female getting laid. Similar to a cock block but for females.
Jenny says "So you wanna go to the bedroom"
Brad "Well Yes"
Courtney "Hey Jenny have your herpes cleared up?"
Brad "Nevermind"
Jenny "Fuck you, you Twat Swatter"
by Seargant Shaft June 16, 2010
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fly swatter touchdown dance

This is the domestic spin on Football's Touchdown Dance. A dance that occurs whilst holding a fly swatter, once a highly elusive fly has finally met it's fatal smash-down.
Scenario to prompt a dance: I chased that annoying fly all over the house! It was a close call after losing valuable fly-swatting opportunities when it landed on the family dog, I finally got the sucker!

Fly Swatter Touchdown Dance Description:
While holding the fly swatter valiantly into the air like a sword, commence ridiculous hip swings, two steps, holding up the number one, or for the extra flourish Moon Walk!
by Daskys October 5, 2012
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Mississippi Swamp Swaller

When a girl gives you a blow job with a dip of chewing tobacco in their mouth.
by Mississippi Swamp Swaller October 26, 2022
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