Swab Mob

Men who aren't about to sign a birth certificate until after a DNA test!

She tells me I'm the father, but I'm a member of the Swab Mob, and I'm very comfortable waiting for the DNA test results.

by talk2me-JCH2 February 24, 2021

Cosby Swab

Inserting one's penis rectally, and proceeding to rub the tip of one's phallus around female's lips in a swab-like fashion. Preferably while wearing a thick, goofy, uncoordinated sweater while holding a sandwich, to emphasize the Cosby effect.

The green/brown shade of her upper lips indicated to me she was an expert in the art of the Cosby Swab. She made me drop my hoagie.

by drphilsboner February 23, 2009

Deck swabbing

When you meet a man for the first time and you use the hand that's not shaking theirs to reach down and feel their package.

When meeting one's future in-laws it is considered polite to give the father a good deck swabbing to see what lies below.

by Alcoholic Synonymous August 29, 2011

Dong swab

Using one's penis to apply an ointment or medication to the back of another's throat or tonsils.

Girl: "I have a sore throat"
Guy: "Let me give you a dong swab and it'll clear up by tomorrow."

by Mexican Ron October 16, 2010

swab-fucking

Vigorously shoving a swab up someone's nose.

Damn, that covid test felt like a swab-fucking.

by people eat ice cream January 15, 2021

Hobbled by Swabs

The weakest link in the chain when it comes to effective COVID-19 testing and contact tracing.

Yup! We've got the test, the reagents, the patients, the demand and pretty much everything else we need... except for the cotton-tipped nasal applicators. The greatest country on earth has been Hobbled by Swabs...

by YAWA April 17, 2020

VD Swab

That Q-Tip stuck up the urethra to either detect or ointment-treat a venereal disease. Also used as a proper noun insult.

Don't call Don a douchebag. That's insulting to people who douche. Don is a goddamned VD Swab, and a terrible human being to boot.

by kurtz December 30, 2014