by Stenman May 4, 2004
Get the Schmief mug.simply perfection the coolest, most popular, most outgoing, funny, sexy ,most athletic people ever are named joe always the life of the party and everyone's bestfriend and the girls just cant stay away kinda guy , very laid back and can charm his way out of anything, Loves to act funny yet knows how to be serious. The most sweet and sesitive man you will ever meet. His heart is so big, sometimes he doesn't know quite what to do with it. He is beauiful inside and out. underneath his ruggid figure, his heart is huge. If you fall in love with a Joe, don't ever let him go. he just might not come back. Dont ever break his heart. He is to fragile. He doesn't care much for play fighting. Josephs always give the best hugs, you know you are safe when you are in his arms. You don't have to even meet him to know he is the one for you. Unsure of himself at times. Knows what he wants and goes after it. Hard to read his mind, but not afraid to share it. Always protects the ones he loves. Will do great things with his life. Probably will even change the world.
by madfrankie12345 August 17, 2011
Get the Joe Schofield mug.A noetic, genius detective who likes astronomy, screenwriting; perhaps known to be rude; his attributes would match with Sherlock Holmes.
by Cosmonaut Mercy February 20, 2022
Get the Schofield Holmes mug.by the bigest of them all October 21, 2009
Get the schmieder mug.Denizen of a council housing estate or housing "scheme", hence use of the vernacular, "schemie". Commonly found in the East Coast of Scotland and can be viewed as an appropriate equilevlant to the West Coast "ned". Prone to wearing tasteless branded clothing in excruciatingly bright colours - classically white. Frequently used namebrands inc. Henry Lloyd, Nike, Reebok, Nickelson, Tommi Hilfigger, Adidas and Ralph Lauren. The common schemie will, in most cases, also have a malign addiction to Burberry caps in particular. Said caps are normally placed upon the individuals head at a 45-90 agle allowing breathtaking views of the common schemie`s equally breathtaking lack of respect for conventionally attractive hairstyles. As an alternative to the established norms of appealling hairdos, schemies revel in the daily act of gelling their front fringe into a cement strong array of spikes that descend onto the top of their forehead. Furthermore, chunky and lurid gold jewellry is brazenly displayed at every opportunity in desperate attempt to appeal to the, equally luridly addorned, opposite sex (NB When observing the female schemie you may confirm your sighting as authentic by the prescence of gold hooped rings ranging anywhere from a 3 inch to a 3 foot diameter). It must be duly noted that it is highly likely that all of the clothing or jewellery worn by a shemie is of a counterfeit nature - the dole only stretches so far.
The overly generous UK social security system is the backbone of this curious species and without it they would surely perish.
Finally, the common schemie may be easily identified by his passion for consuming vile cheap liqour such as Buckfast Tonic Wine, Tennets Super T lager or Diamond White high-strength cider and/or numerous varities of illegal narcotics. This behaviour may occur at any time onwards from approxiamtely 8 am and generally ceases upon total intoxication and collapse or arrest by the local constabulary. During such time, schemies will, in general, become even more malevonant tomwards innocent members of the public than normal and it is advisable to avoid contact with them if at all possible. However if interaction is inevitable then it is in your best interests to stand your ground and throw the first punch. This is due to the fact that deep down, all schemies are in fact chickenshit little motherfuckers who will flee from an unafraid opponent and seek out weaker propositions instead (such as OAPs or school children). Beware: The schemie population is expanding at a worrying rate due to a lack of education, contraception, intelligence and a sense of social resposibility. This situation is also further exacerbated by a reliance on social security that encourages their proliferation. Shoot on sight.
The overly generous UK social security system is the backbone of this curious species and without it they would surely perish.
Finally, the common schemie may be easily identified by his passion for consuming vile cheap liqour such as Buckfast Tonic Wine, Tennets Super T lager or Diamond White high-strength cider and/or numerous varities of illegal narcotics. This behaviour may occur at any time onwards from approxiamtely 8 am and generally ceases upon total intoxication and collapse or arrest by the local constabulary. During such time, schemies will, in general, become even more malevonant tomwards innocent members of the public than normal and it is advisable to avoid contact with them if at all possible. However if interaction is inevitable then it is in your best interests to stand your ground and throw the first punch. This is due to the fact that deep down, all schemies are in fact chickenshit little motherfuckers who will flee from an unafraid opponent and seek out weaker propositions instead (such as OAPs or school children). Beware: The schemie population is expanding at a worrying rate due to a lack of education, contraception, intelligence and a sense of social resposibility. This situation is also further exacerbated by a reliance on social security that encourages their proliferation. Shoot on sight.
by David Keddie January 27, 2004
Get the schemie mug.A Copycat. One Who Copies EVERYTHING That Somebody Else Does. These Creatures Are Extremely Annoying, Especially When They Cannot Get Enough of Copying People.
Person 1: "I LOVE GIRLS, THEY ARE SO AMAZING"
The Schmied: "I Used To Hate Girls, But Now I Suddenly Like Them, Right After That Kid Said He Loved Girls."
REPEAT SEVERAL TIMES UNTIL YOU ARE ANNOYED OUT OF YOUR MIND.
The Schmied: "I Used To Hate Girls, But Now I Suddenly Like Them, Right After That Kid Said He Loved Girls."
REPEAT SEVERAL TIMES UNTIL YOU ARE ANNOYED OUT OF YOUR MIND.
by Merik DonFranJedrey March 10, 2010
Get the Schmied mug.Noun.
For anecdotal use in the description of one’s faecal defecating or discharging experience(s). Specifically referring to those which are associated with, but not limited to; constipated movements that ensue for circa 27 years, before they come out.
For anecdotal use in the description of one’s faecal defecating or discharging experience(s). Specifically referring to those which are associated with, but not limited to; constipated movements that ensue for circa 27 years, before they come out.
‘Hey boss. Sorry I was in the bathroom so long earlier; today’s was a real Phillip Schofield!’
‘-Hey Sharon, how was the natural birth?
-Not fun Susan. My newborn son went full Phillip Schofield on my birthing canal. I required stitches, Susan.’
‘-Hey Sharon, how was the natural birth?
-Not fun Susan. My newborn son went full Phillip Schofield on my birthing canal. I required stitches, Susan.’
by JonnyPee February 8, 2020
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