Jewish Stocktake 

The process by which a shopkeeper destroys their own shop in a self-lit fire, in order to claim insurance. The payout from the insurance is invariably higher than the projected profits from the shop.

Shopkeeper: "Business hasn't been doing so well the past two years."
Accountant: "Perhaps it's time for a Jewish Stocktake."

Jewish Stocktake by extheist April 12, 2009

jewish glue socket

When a man falls asleep with his penis tucked in his asshole, While he is asleep he has a wet dream and ejaculates in his own asshole, over night it drys up and doesn't allow him to free his penis.

Dude did you hear? Jake went to the hospital because of a Jewish Glue Socket!

jewish glue socket by pole dinnner March 11, 2011

Jewish Dildo 

a $5 roll of quarters.

- I need some change man..
- I'll give you a Jewish Dildo for five dollars.

Jewish Dildo by Diskrillus July 25, 2011

jewish mother 

an unstoppable force of nature that will feed you, pamper you, and pester you at the slightest provocation. known to spout Yiddish randomly.

be warned: if you come to my house, you WILL leave with a full stomach and a bag of leftovers.

jewish mother by Shwaggy February 13, 2004

jewish year 

A very long time, although usually not quite as long as an actual year.

OMG! I haven't seen you in a jewish year!

I was gonna go to the bathroom, but then Garth took a jewish year in there so I used someone else's.

jewish year by Johnny De December 5, 2007

jewish honey

Mucus

Wow that's a lot of Jewish honey in your nose

jewish honey by samba déjà nay da duh duh duh November 29, 2015

Jewish God 

noun

Exactly the same as the Christian God, except Jewish.

Boi1: Ayo you hear about Jewish God's 13th birthday?
Boi2: I think you mean Jewish God's bar mitzvah.
Boi1: Whaaaaat!?
Boi2: Yea, Jewish God is exactly the same as Christian God, except significantly more Jewish.

Jewish God by Blumpkin_Huricanrana June 8, 2016