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Cranking

"Whats that noise?"
"Oh nothing, Sharky just broke up with his girlfriend so he is cranking night and day"
by Ricky Miller December 27, 2008
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cranking the hog

Masturbation, usually in a more aggressive manner.
Hey man, I was cranking the hog last night and my roommate almost walked in.
by Astrobadgr March 26, 2017
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Cranking

The act of crying and wanking (masturbation)at the same time.
This term comes from 'Ye Olde English' originating from the reign of King Henry VIII and his desperation in not being able to produce a male heir to carry on the Tudor dynasty. It was discovered by a lowly servant who stumbled upon the King in floods of tears and covered in copious amounts of semen. This information was a state secret until 2007 when it was released under Freedom of Information Act.
'Last night I watched Hugh Grant in Love Actually it was a performance of a lifetime it touched me in so many ways I just had to have a crank'
'Every since I heard my Mum and Dad had died in a horrible dolphin accident I've had to crank myself to sleep every night'
'Late at night after his girlfriend had gone to sleep Steven Peters Matthews would slowly crank over her delicate jawline'

Mohinder: Hey guys do you all wanna go to the beach and catch some waves and then afterwards we can go to Chad's house and have communal crank'
Bruce: That sounds totally crazy sick Mohinder I'll give Chuck a ring he loves cranking'

'Man I just watched Schindler's List, it was like totally sad but that little girl in the red coat was so hot i just had to have a crank'.

'The other day I was having a glorious wank in the woods when I saw a cute bunny rabbit get brutally mutilated by a hedgehog it turned my once in a lifetime wanking experience into a mournful cranking session'
by Malcom McCroat February 13, 2009
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Crankin' My Hog

Crying and masturbating through the barn door of your boxers.

(Look up 'cranking' and 'hog' for reference)
"GET OUT MOM! I'M CRANKIN' MY HOG!"
by Grossly June 5, 2016
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Jenny Crankin It

Satire of the popular weight loss and diet program "Jenny Craig"; Referring to a diet driven by methamphetamines causing rapid weight loss. Usually referring to a white trash crank addict who has recently lost a lot of weight. Originated in Terre Haute, Indiana.
1st Guy: Damn dude! Did you see Jessica?
2nd Guy: Yeah she got real skinny, yo!
3rd Guy: I heard she's Jenny Crankin It!
1st & 2nd Guy : Ohhhh, that explains it.
by Nick Fox July 29, 2008
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Cranking the Horn

Masturbating in a comedic fashion. Or to masturbate as a means of time-wasting for mild enjoyment.
Guy 1: What did you do at the weekend?
Guy 2: Nothing much just sat at home cranking the horn.
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, beating my soldier, caressing my shaft, you know, treating the little guy.
Guy 1: Ohhhhh, yeh same, I wanked until it hurt me physically. We really need girlfriends.
by CrankingMyHorn October 25, 2022
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crackling clam

the act of putting pop rocks in a woman's vagina which pop due to the moisture; crackling refers to the popping pop rocks while clam is a common word for vagina
He pulled out a package of pop rocks to try the crackling clam.
by campbarbie January 11, 2009
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