Absence of Grass Touching & Bathing Disorder (AGTBD)

~For further medical information, go to bigchungus.cum/agtbd~
AGTBD, also known as GCD (Grass contact deficets) is a condition that affects mainly teenagers, in the world, 1 in 30 have this condition, treatment such as expourse to grass, the habit of chilling outside and even conventional therapy
Syptoms include:
.Excessive (>12h) usage of modern social media (discord, twitter, ...)
.Weaker bones
.Lack of bathing
.Disability to get bitches
.Hyperfocusing in activities such as trying to get bitches online because you can't do it in rael life
Associated with conditions such as Dreamgender, Dreamsexuality (Yes, the bad one, not the good one) & Fatherlessness Reaction Episodes

"Unfourtently your son was diagnosed with Absence of Grass Touching & Bathing Disorder (AGTBD)"
"Oh no"

by Astronomicsmallchungustheorem June 12, 2022

Tactical Absence

The act of purposely not attending school and studying at home for the better of your grade.

Jimmy used a tactical absence because of his physics test today.

by Nikegunner77 March 28, 2015

Niggas Absence of Complication

When you some bitter ahh individuals

Niggas Absence of Complication frfr!!!

by West15 April 24, 2023

In the Absence of Strong Evidence to the Contrary, One May Step Out of the Way of the Charging Bull

Literally the best song ever wtf like how can a song be so good

*"In the Absence of Strong Evidence to the Contrary, One May Step Out of the Way of the Charging Bull" starts playing*
Me: OOOOOOHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH

by miistherealmvp April 14, 2021

abeerance

1. When you arrive into a room just to grab a beer, and then exit making your appearance solely beer related.

2. Going to a social function primarily for the beer provided (e.g. "here for the beer")

1. *John walks into the room to get a beer* John: Don't mind me, I'm just making an abeerance

2. "Yeah I didn't really want to come to this party but I thought I'd make an abeerance."

by thedopecast March 30, 2015

Absence makes the vag grow tighter

The well known affect of a vagina tightening through lack of use

Daniella complained "we won't see each other for a week!"
Tom reassured "don't worry my sweet, for absence makes the vag grow tighter"

by Woland31337 March 19, 2017

Situational Absence

Term used by employers for employee absences or tardiness when the employee never discusses what the actual reason is. The term ‘situation’ is the only reason given by them employee. This typically occurs in lower pay grade manual labor jobs where the employees a generally unreliable anyway.

Boss man: Hey, Marcus! How come you didn’t show for work yesterday?

Marcus: Man Boss, I had that situation to take care of! I couldn’t come in.

Boss man: What fucken situation!? You better not pull that shit again or your ass is outta here.

Marcus: I can’t help it boss. I was on my situation. I had to take care of that shit.

Boss man: Bullshit. You were either to hung over or still high from the night before. That’s the situation. One more situational absence and you’re fired! Got that!

Marcus: Man… that bullshit. I can’t help all these mother fuckers always puttin me in these situations.

by Jackthesnipper9512365 February 19, 2012