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Abselance

Last minute or off the cuff absences from work with fabricated reasons.
it appears that 'joe bloggs' is abselance today
by VIGILANTSPR June 22, 2018
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Strategic Absence

Noun

When you skip school on a day you have a really big assignment due, such as a project or a report. Can also apply to exams. Very common in high school and secondary school
Dude, the project's due tomorrow, are you done? No man, I'm gonna pull a strategic absence tomorrow to save my ass
by dachyr May 2, 2010
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absence of shower syndrome

A disease usually refering to a person who smells like a skunked beer, combined with body odor, fishy pubic hair, and dried anal seapage displaying a general lack of hygiene that would otherwise make a radius of 25 feet from the person inpalatable.
Bob the Hobo + Your Mom + Your Nasty French Teacher + Britney Spears= A.S.S.

Man you smell like ass
I know I have Absence of Shower syndrome
by krikeymynipple April 7, 2010
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strategic absence

Taking off from school in order to get work done, miss a test, and/or push back a due date. Similar to playing hooky, the difference being you are actually doing work.
"We had 3 tests and a paper due today, so I took a strategic absence."
by Dr. Odenbach February 28, 2009
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The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

The most beautiful phrase uttered by Gin Rummy in The Boondocks. A phrase you should live your life around and follow for the rest of your life.
Riley: So y'all was in Iraq together?
Gin: Yeah, we was in Iraq
Riley: What did you do?
Gin: We was lookin for weapons of mass destruction
Riley: Did you ever find them?
Gin: You know goddamn we ain't find 'em. What are you some kind of political humorist ? You care to toe up in this bitch?!!
Ed: I was lookin for bitches, but they had the carpet shit all over 'em, and I couldn't see what they look like. All that was really exposed was they eyes and that wasn't really enough for me cause you know; shit I'm lookin at they eyes, and

I take they carpet off and then I got a tragedy.

Gin: Well naw we ain't find 'em. But I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

Riley: What?
Gin: Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist, does not mean that you have evidence that something doesn't exist
Riley: What?
Gin: What country you from?
Riley: What?
Gin: What ain't no country I ever heard of they speak English in what?!!
Riley: What?
GIn: English, mothafucka!!!! Do you speak it?!!
Riley: Yeah
Gin: So you understand what I'm sayin to you?!!
Riley: Yeah

Gin: So what I'm sayin is there are known knowns and known unknowns, but there's also unknown unknowns, things that we don't know!!
Riley: What?
Gin: Say what again!!! Say what again!! I dare you!! I double dare you mothafucka!!! Say what one moe time!!!
by The Fundraiser February 22, 2021
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Arselander

The steward of a Football Fans Forum that fixes and manipulates polls to make it look like the fans voted for him so he appears the most likeable member of that forum when really he's just an arsewipe....
Forum Member: Who do you think will win the 'Most Likeable Fan of the Year Award'...?

Other Forum Member: Don't make no difference, That Arselander, Forever-CAFC, will only fiddle the results anyway...
by Red-Zed333 June 20, 2009
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