scissoring off the turtle head 

When you are taking a shit, it's the last little pieces to come out.

Dude 1: Cmon' bro, let's hit the clubs.

Dude 2 (taking massive dump): One sec, man, I'm scissoring off the turtle head.

scissoring off the turtle head by Heezy P. March 16, 2014

king of the trash can 

A term used in online gaming to refer to a player whose individual skill significantly exceeds the skills of the clan, guild or group of players that they regularly play with.

Player 1: "Hey man, you're pretty good, you should quit playing with those scrubs and join us."
Player 2: "Thanks for the offer but I'm going to have to respectfully decline."
Player 1: "Ok well just let me know when your ready to stop being the king of the trash can and decide to play with some real mofos."

king of the trash can by Mr. Casual March 13, 2015

carl in the tents 

Puberty before the age of 10

That child is 7? Must be carl in the tents

carl in the tents by Pusssyslayer December 12, 2016

Banana in the Trash Can 

1. Disposing of a fruit in a reciprocal of waste
2. Doing it in the butt

"My girl was on her period last night, so I put my banana in the trash can"

Banana in the Trash Can by OrganicCreator97 December 17, 2016

Parking in the Truck 

Having pleasurable intercourse with a particularly large woman.

Man I just got Meghan Trainor's number. Looks like I'll be parking in the truck tonight.

Parking in the Truck by Glastic January 15, 2017

you clean the toilet so you can shit in it

The world's most perfect oxymoron

Ann was scrubbing all day and didn't want anyone to use the crapper, to which Jim said ``You clean the toilet so you can shit in it.''

you clean the toilet so you can shit in it by tirtle April 20, 2017

king of the tards 

when someone makes a lame joke and the other person(ex jay) starts laughing. the person smirks and jay keeps on laughing and starts shaking. person make another not so funny joke about uncle T, and jay starts clapping fast, with his wrists together. person smiles again and jay starts to fap on his knee. person says, "uncle T", jay jumps up and down, faps on his knee, while trying not to laugh, clapping by his wrists. person is the king of the tards

person: aight so you know uncle T?

jay: oh man oh man! (starts shaking)

Person: (smiles)

jay: (claps by his wrists, continues to shake)

person: aight so the other day . . .

jay: ( continues to do everything, starts fapping on his knee) slap slap slap clap clap clap

person (chuckles)

jay: (continues to do all this, and starts to jump)

person is the king of the tards

king of the tards by planekid December 18, 2017