John

This abomination of a being can destroy the universe by using 0.1 percent of his power. He usually hides his fat in his disposable miniature pocket universes that he has in his magic pockets , but there have been incidents in other dimensions where the parallel John (which is not as powerful as the John in this universe) destroyed 1 billion other dimensions which teared a hole in the multiverse by accidentally letting out 10 percent of his power.

Below is rare footage of John using 0.000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of his power
Eminem: something’s wrong, I can feel it
Eminem:if this is what I think it is, we’re in big trouble

John: LAUGHS IN JOHN
by Joguan 69420 November 14, 2019
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John

John is nice and cares very much but always ends up the best friend but even though he wants more then being friends he still manages being a great friend with good relationship advice. He is what you call "boyfriend transparent". He would the best boyfriend but he is see through, girls can't see how great he is and just continues to have trouble with love even if a treasure is right in front of them.
John gives the best advice about my problems with adam I wish there were a guy like john
by Transparent and hollow December 13, 2017
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John

John is an amazing human bein he cares for his loved ones an he has his special places with those loved ones. He is so gorgeous inside and out n he deserves the best in the world. He will treat you with all the respect as long as you respect him back cause once you fuck up that’s it! Do everythin you can to keep John in your life because he’s the best person that will ever come into your life and he will make you the happiest version of you
Arrrrr that johns leng yenoooo
by Johns bird xo March 19, 2021
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John

The literal definition of a walking dick. And also, probably a walking std. Don't date a John unless you want to get cheated on.
'He cheated on you?, He must of been a John"
by rocky bob August 16, 2018
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John

A gay boi who is trash at all things to do with gaming and is thinner than a stick however SOMETIMES he is a good friend
by Sapsucker March 03, 2019
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John

John is a great guy and he is so lovable, he's a ladys man but he ain't a player ;)

You can always count on him whenever you need to rant or talk about your feelings, if you date a John hold onto him because you is luckyyy. John also has the best taste in clothes and music and is keeping up with all the trends, he's goofy and caring and hella loyal but he won't admit it only to keep his "macho" rep :)
Girl #1 : omg is that John??
Girl #2 : yeh he's so funny omg!!!
Girl #1 : Yasss and he's cute, maybe I should talk to him :)

Girl #2 : GETT INNNN!!
by johnsdamannn11 August 22, 2018
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John

A pencil neck young man who spends most of his days dwelling in a dim lit room where he smokes copius amounts of pot and angel dust with his girlfriend, he is a poor communicator and he doesnt go in sunlight, nor does he sleep any less than 16 hours a day
John is fried
by Narfwar December 03, 2015
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