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certified gooner

a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.
dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911
by himolton April 25, 2024
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Certified Maple Leaf Moment

When you've been going hard all year, only to fuck it up miles away from the finish line
Watching my daughter give up the winning goal in the 1st round playoff - game 7 to be exact, was a certified maple leaf moment for our family, filled with disappointment and frustration.
by BigGucciFucci April 28, 2024
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Certified lover boy

by not_like_us May 8, 2024
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Certified lover boy

A man who is incapable of growth and lacks maturity causing them to be romantically attracted to those of the same or lesser mental acuity as them, often times being a person much younger then them to an almost criminal degree.
"Certified lover boy? Certified pedophile. Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop."
by Legible Ghastino May 18, 2024
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cheeky certified

Mostly used in Philadelphia: When an American person approves of your proficiency in English.
You are for sure cheeky certified, but to be safe, I would recommend you take a TOEFL test.
by bubatzbutbatz May 24, 2024
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certified yapper

The saying "certified yapper" means someone who believes they are certified for talking too much/saying dumb shit.
"I consider myself a certified yapper!"

"If I yap too much, then I must be a certified yapper!"
by Evrybdy_luvs.leeya March 13, 2024
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Certified munch

by Cabbagechild March 20, 2024
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