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certified abstinence instructor

A life-calling for a precious few, incredibly optimistic individuals who think that it's actually possible to bridle the massive force of copulation using reason, logic, gods wrath, consequence or any other easy to ignore methodology.
I'm a certified abstinence instructor; das right! I don't care how worked up their loins be ge'in, a few pictures of god's herpes curse will shrink that hard-on faster than a busted cherry on prom-nite.
by YAWA August 19, 2017
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strategic absence

Taking off from school in order to get work done, miss a test, and/or push back a due date. Similar to playing hooky, the difference being you are actually doing work.
"We had 3 tests and a paper due today, so I took a strategic absence."
by Dr. Odenbach February 28, 2009
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absoludacris

Brookline is absoludacris at lacrosse
by triplexxxsweet April 7, 2009
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Absolutely The Fish

Absolutely the fish is a term used to refer to something ridiculous or preposterous.
Guy 1: Hey look at that guy with the banana hat!

Guy 2: That's Absolutely The Fish.
by Blagardson October 10, 2009
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Abstirape

The "forced" decision made by a significant partner to not conduct in sexual intercourse.
Guy: "My gf won't have sex with me. she wants to be abstinent..."

Friend: "Dude, you just got abstiraped!"
by atypical_e October 13, 2009
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absurdium

A chemical element theorized to be produced by the human body in a certain percentage of the population. The element is suspected to have a clear irreversible degenerative effect on the intellect. It is also a suspected contributor to the 'Bozone Layer' effect (please see Bozone Layer and bozone)

This element is not listed in the Periodic Table. It is illusive and has not yet been synthesized in the lab, and scientists suspect that they will never be able to. Naturally, there will never be a cure that reverses absurdium's effects.
Your idea has the trademark of absurdium.

This is the most banal thing I've heard. You must be on absurdium or something.

Did someone accidentally add few absurdium drops to your kool-aid this morning?

Man, I can smell the absurdium in your breath. It should be illegal for you to think.
by Kurchatovium January 7, 2010
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Abshole

1. A physically fit asshole. An asshole with a six-pack.

2. An absolute asshole.

3. Navel; Belly button.
1. Guy1: Hey you wanna go to total fitness with me?
Guy2: Fuck no! that place is full of Absholes.

2. Guy1: You just don't wanna go because I always get the fine exercise bitches and you get the fat sauna bitches.
Guy2: Abshole!

3. Girl: OMG! that is a cute Abshole piercing!
by Steve Stephalonavich February 18, 2013
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