utility wank

Masturbation, not initiated out of sexual arousal, but to achieve a goal, like relieving pressure or to become tired.

I couldn't sleep, so I utility wanked.

I wasn't even horny, it was just a utility wank so I could go to sleep.

by Germaggeddon January 9, 2013

Bradworthy Wank

The act of masturbating in your living room while trying to get caught by the Google Street View car.

As soon as I saw the car coming round the corner by the Bradworthy Inn, I ran home, flopped it out and start it furiously Bashing the Bishop, in the hopes that the image of me choking my chicken would live forever on Google Street View.

Best Bradworthy Wank I ever had.

by EducatedBumpkin March 26, 2022

Fatty wank

Artwork or photographs of BBW or SSBBW that men will jerk off to. A phrase coined by an artist called Krampuskind.

John went down to the pr0n shop to buy some fatty wank.

by Lupine the 3rd January 24, 2012

Wank Warrior

A Professional wanker, one who claims to be a master or warrior of wanking,

"All Tom from myspace does all day is masturbate, he must be a Wank Warrior."

by ColbyA.K.A.C-Pimpin December 13, 2008

Wank cannon

A person(s) who literally fires there seaman a large distance.
i.e. hitting your hair, shoulder or over your head and splatting it on every-day items.

Jack: Where did it go?
Sally: I can't find it!
Jack: Oh, its on the curtains.
Sally: Wow! You're a real wank cannon Jack.

by vValentine February 4, 2010

Pan wanking

When cooking, you shake the pan backwards and forwards to stir or shake the contents without the use of a utensil.

Mostly done by chefs

"need a spoon?"
"no thanks, i'm happy pan wanking."

by Blue_devil February 28, 2009

Sanity Wank

A sanity wank is when you get so wound up and frustrated and the only way to cure it is via masturbation, so to stop yourself going insane you have a sanity wank

Sarah is such a tease, she was winding me up all night, I had to have a sanity wank when i got home or I swear I would of gone insane

by Lostpure August 25, 2010