Assstick

(n.) A biological or nutured anal predicament. Inflames when instigated by untimeliness, uncleanliness, dispropriety, etc. usually on the part of others rather than onesself. Derivation - from having a stick up one's ass.

Yo. Wassup with your asstick, I was only 15 minutes late. Or, chill out, dude, your assstick is showing. Or, my friend is such a pain in the ass. He's cool and all, but sometimes I wish I could just reach over and remove that assstick.

by hj4h June 24, 2005

assistrance

verb: The act of reciting information to customers that you've done thousands of times before

"I gave this lady assistrance with booking a flight because I get that question all the time."

by No Merit Badge June 3, 2009

Assetricks and Knobelix

Stimulating your anus while gracefully delivering a blowjob to your partner and just before he blows, you pull away, take your finger out your ass and stick it up his nose so that he ejaculates with the smell of your shit in his nostril. He will be disgusted and pleasured at the same time... for the more experienced sexual adventurer.

Hey, I did an Assetricks and Knobelix on my bf last night. He said it shook his very foundation.

by SmuttyBoobs November 22, 2009

Assisted Five

When a person is offered a high five and refuses to give it and a fellow person grabs said person's hand and gives the man offering a high five a high five.

High five?

Naw.

(man walks by and sees the struggle and grabs the man's hand and gives the high five )

Assisted Five! I'll take it

by CaseDog January 20, 2010

Assessination

(n.) The process of assessinating.

Britney Spears' nervous breakdown could be called a media assessination.

by SimpleCreature May 19, 2010

assisted small pet parkour

the "sport"of freerunning for small pets (i.e. cats, chihuahuas) with the assistance of human propulsion.

Jimmy and I had an awesome match of assisted small pet parkour. My cat dominated his Yorkie - they don't always land on their feet.

by mikeinocala October 16, 2012

Assistant Executive

The inaccurate reversal of a secretary job title for the purposes of inflating your position when you are actually making 45k and living in NorthJesus. Job description born out of delusions: serving as an officer/executive, actually mattering, and having a real job. Usual duties ACTUALLY include: changing printer paper, opening car doors, and sealing envelopes for mailing. See: self-absorbed.

I am loving my new job as the assistant executive, I am basically in charge of everyone except for the CEO!

by Give me a break! December 18, 2012