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Jesus

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)
Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."
by Hym Iam July 23, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?
"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"
by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024
mugGet the Pulled a Jesusmug.

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples
The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8
by Showi April 19, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.
My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!
by ahirebet July 23, 2024
mugGet the Jetway Jesusmug.

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)
Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"
by afuckingtech February 11, 2024
mugGet the Jesus cablemug.

jesus serpent

when a serpent is as hot as jug head and as daddy material as FP with the hot as hell persona of toni
"NO MOM Kanye West is a jesus serpent not bill cosby" or also

"damn i'd like to smash that jesus serpant of a man they call jimmy fallon"
by kindofanicon June 12, 2018
mugGet the jesus serpentmug.

Luke Jesus

A man who has people around him constantly saying he has a massive penis, whether he does or not.
Awesome Lesbian: You see that Blue Yeti microphone? Yeah that's the size of Luke Jesus penis.
by thebsb July 26, 2020
mugGet the Luke Jesusmug.

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