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shatter analysis

In the manner of bloodstain splatter analysis, shatter analysis attempts to identify the dietary habits of individuals who spray public toilets with explosive diarrhea.
Investigator: "Judging by the consistency and scale of the cone-shaped spray pattern, my shatter analysis tells me our victim was likely lactose intolerant and had either consumed chipotle, Thai food, or barbecue--followed by a large milk shake for dessert."
by austicoatk February 22, 2013
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Scatterboarding

V: (ˈskæt ər ˈbɔːdɪŋ) An act of foolish behavior, aimed at impressing members of the opposite sex.
Billy Bob was scatterboarding at Rachel, unfortunately his 4-wheeler became stuck in the river.
by Zaika Nekochan August 26, 2013
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Related Words

slastered

Getting really drunk, while at the same time trying to obtain a copious amount of horse manure. It almost always involves a couple of hispanic workers that are used as sidekicks. Usually takes place in rural areas of the united states south of the Mason Dixon line.
dude; i was slastered last night.

Other dude; sick dude did you get some of that manure?
by thekrunkpimphoodkillah October 23, 2013
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scatterfish

An old bitch who switches from one topic to another in the same conversation.
Mary is a right bloody scatterfish
by Benveb April 14, 2014
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Scatter Splatter

The act of shitting ones self after a series of solid shits, then you accidentally release diarrhea out of your bunghole and it splatters in your underwear.
I had a Scatter Splatter Incident after a long night of partying.
by ZOMBIEOVERLORD May 11, 2014
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scattering my petunias

When someone is scattering you petunias, they leave you unsure if you want to cuddle with them and sing cheesy love songs or fuck them until they can't remember which way is up.
Damn, Isley looks so fine in that sweater she's scattering my petunias.
by yillenahoolahey September 22, 2014
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Shatternap

A nap that leaves you feeling worse than you felt before you took the nap, because you napped for too long
I feel absolutely shattered after that nap, I wish I had just stayed awake. That was a Shatternap for sure!
by jerkbagoftheyear February 4, 2015
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