Sweet Jesus 

Giving or receiving oral sex while saying the lord's prayer.

oral sex while saying:

Our Father who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us,

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

and there you have it you just preformed a Sweet Jesus

Sweet Jesus by Jesus Bro December 5, 2013

Baby Jesus 

a camel toe.

Ashley:"Oh my gosh she has one serious baby jesus!"
Sammy: "Oh Baby Jesus!"

(hahahaha)

Baby Jesus by Ashsam February 27, 2009

Real jesus 

A dark-skinned man of Jewish, Israeli descent, in (two) lifetimes revealed himself as god's son, performed many miracles, spurned the beginning of a religion based upon his teachings and those if his father, commonly called the "almighty" or God. Also, he was crucified for his crimes against the caesar of the time's laws and wishes, as well as undermining his authoritah. Real Jesus is commonly misconceived as Jesus Christ and HIS apostles, a whiter, more bearded and thorny-headwear inclined modern interpretation of a clearly Israeli-born man. Jesus Christ, however, was more widely accepted due in no small part to the common skin tone of his followers.

God:Wait, guys, uh....my son wasn't that white...

Vatican:WHATCHU SAAAAAY????

God:No seriously, he was Israeli.

Vatican:Nuh-uh. This guy with the thorn headband is Jesus.

God:Oh, lol, no that's Jesus Christ. I'm talking about my son, Real Jesus. Get it straight.

Vatican:*with fingers crossed* okaaay, we promise we'll change it....

Real jesus by MariaSharapova December 7, 2010

coachella jesus 

The purposeful inebriation durung 3 day music weekend, that it replicates the absence of the savior of Christianity.

Note- use of pre-meditated choice to inflict cognitive absence.

And, like main stream Christianity, there will be no proof that you really left at all.

“Bro, Featherweight Tyler went SO free-spiritedly high AF last weekend, he left reality Friday and came to Monday morn. He’s , like, Coachella Jesus” he resurrected himself.

coachella jesus by Craig Rasputin May 26, 2018

SUPER cyborg pirate ninja jesus 

superman's powers mixed with cyborg pirate ninja jesus

THIS IS A JOB FOR SUPER CYBORG PIRATE NINJA JESUS!!!

SUPER cyborg pirate ninja jesus by GUNDAMU December 11, 2011

Kung-fu Jesus 

A Mitch = Man-Bitch

I heard you and that Kung-fu Jesus mothafucka got a problem.

Kung-fu Jesus by Johnny-Tsunami March 13, 2019

Jews for Jesus 

Jews for Jesus. You can be a true Jew and love Jesus. Jesus was a Jew!

Jay is a big Jew for Jesus. He married Jesus because the big J is Jay’s bae.

When she prays, she prays to all the names of God and Jesus and more.

They held hands in bed and that’s all. Because Jews for Jesus.

Jews for Jesus by BeStill December 5, 2019