creeping jesus

going downstairs late night to eat sweets!! ;)

my stomach hurts because i was a 'creeping jesus' last night!

by ive been told i look like a lisa October 28, 2007

De Jesus

Mexican Jesus taken from the from the king of the Jews name Yehoshua aka Jesus Christ.
Pronounced "da-Jesus" as in, "Hey everyone look its De Jesus.

Mexican catholic: . Oh my god! Its De Jesus has come to save us here in Mexico!

by superbipolar420 July 6, 2016

Is it Jesus

Usually in an elementary school class after the teacher says that there is a guest. Best if used in a Catholic school.

Teacher: Today we have a special guest class.
Student; Is it Jesus?

by Jesus is here February 9, 2009

Sweet Jesus

Giving or receiving oral sex while saying the lord's prayer.

oral sex while saying:

Our Father who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us,

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

and there you have it you just preformed a Sweet Jesus

by Jesus Bro December 5, 2013

Baby Jesus

a camel toe.

Ashley:"Oh my gosh she has one serious baby jesus!"
Sammy: "Oh Baby Jesus!"

(hahahaha)

by Ashsam February 27, 2009

Real jesus

A dark-skinned man of Jewish, Israeli descent, in (two) lifetimes revealed himself as god's son, performed many miracles, spurned the beginning of a religion based upon his teachings and those if his father, commonly called the "almighty" or God. Also, he was crucified for his crimes against the caesar of the time's laws and wishes, as well as undermining his authoritah. Real Jesus is commonly misconceived as Jesus Christ and HIS apostles, a whiter, more bearded and thorny-headwear inclined modern interpretation of a clearly Israeli-born man. Jesus Christ, however, was more widely accepted due in no small part to the common skin tone of his followers.

God:Wait, guys, uh....my son wasn't that white...

Vatican:WHATCHU SAAAAAY????

God:No seriously, he was Israeli.

Vatican:Nuh-uh. This guy with the thorn headband is Jesus.

God:Oh, lol, no that's Jesus Christ. I'm talking about my son, Real Jesus. Get it straight.

Vatican:*with fingers crossed* okaaay, we promise we'll change it....

by MariaSharapova December 7, 2010

coachella jesus

The purposeful inebriation durung 3 day music weekend, that it replicates the absence of the savior of Christianity.

Note- use of pre-meditated choice to inflict cognitive absence.

And, like main stream Christianity, there will be no proof that you really left at all.

“Bro, Featherweight Tyler went SO free-spiritedly high AF last weekend, he left reality Friday and came to Monday morn. He’s , like, Coachella Jesus” he resurrected himself.

by Craig Rasputin May 26, 2018