smooth as sandpaper

A way to criticize someone for failing to do something easy because it is obviously rough for them.

Reggie: Watch me tie my shoes! Oh no! I forgot the bunny ears part!
Art: Wow! You are as smooth as sandpaper, Reggie! Now let's get back to 11th grade math.

by von groovy August 8, 2017

Chocolate Smoothie

To do this you must engage a female in anal sex, and after ejaculating, you drink the liquids secreting from her ass, then simultaneously spit the fluids into her mouth. She then proceeds to swallow the substance.

Dan and I were extremly bored the other night so he decided to give me a chocolate smoothie... it was quite satisfying.

by S. B. Hood Money September 19, 2009

Tomato Smoothie

One part sperm, one part pussy blood,

and another part sperm.

Mix on high for 2 minutes. Serve chilled.

Everyone has a friend who will take any dare. Test him with an ice cold Tomato Smoothie.

by idontcarewhatthissays December 1, 2009

dallas smoothie

A blended beverage consisting of urine, fecal matter, ejaculate and vomit.

"So Jerry, did she drink one of your dallas smoothies yet?"

"Oh God! This tastes like a fucking dallas smoothie!"

"I want you to make a dallas smoothie on my chest baby."

by f0wl3r December 5, 2012

Dick Smoothie

When you stick a dick in the blender and serve it up as a Strawberry Daiquiri.

Harold was so dehydrated from running the marathon I had to get him a Dick Smoothie.

by Jahnke June 22, 2017

blue smoothie

Born of natural ingredients, this refreshing light beer is Busch Light. Often used in very rural hickish areas of the world.

"Hey man! Through me another Blue Smoothie!"

"AWWW FUCK!"

by FrankNStein October 22, 2007

real fruit smoothies

Smoothies made with real fruit ^.^

"I said i'd buy the team real fruit smoothies if they won the game..and they won the game"

by TheWiggidy October 12, 2003