I’m taking the kids 

What Karen says right after she wants a divorce.
...
Karen if you are reading this please let me see the kids it’s been 5 months now.

Karen: I want a divorce

You: *le crying meme face*
Karen: and I’m taking the kids
You: *dies*

I’m taking the kids by Moldybread August 16, 2019

doing it for the kids 

Often done while wielding an obnoxiously large chaingun. The ability to mow down large mobs of enemies/zombies/people named Ian is granted while saying this phrase. If your name is Kevin, your agility increases by +2 every time the statement is said. 1337ness is not an option, it is an obligation.

"I'm doing it for the kids!!!!" *sound of gunfire*

doing it for the kids by TerrillPancake December 8, 2006

Beat the kids

1. To masturbate. Deriving from the fact the sperm grow into children, and by the act of "beating off" one releases these.

2. To masturbate. When referring to ones balls as "the kids", so as to infer that in the process of masturbation, ones balls will come into contact with ones hands at the end of the sliding motion

No one at the club wanted to hook up, so I went home to beat the kids.

Beat the kids by Dr. Sesh April 15, 2009

Watching the kids 

When a woman blowjobs you, then when you are about to cum you cum into her eyes. That way she can watch the kids since she asked

Example1 : Hey hon, do you want me to watch the kids for a sec?

Example2: (Man) Hey darling come in the living room your favorite show is on

(Woman) Not right now honey i’m almost done watching the kids

Watching the kids by BellaBomber November 19, 2019

something to tell the kids about 

A big event in one's life (usually exaggerated) a phrase mostly used by people who've yet to procreate and want to express their amazement on a happening.

Evan: Wow did you see Nick play that touch down?

Harvey: Yea, that's certainly something to tell the kids about.

Evan: Hell yea.

something to tell the kids about by Kayeman Lanez April 24, 2006

drop the kids off at the pool 

Pooping, Crapping, Droping the doodoo butter.

Also can mean mastubating in a toilet.

I'm sorry boss, I am going to be late for work, I have to drop the kids off at the pool.

drop the kids off at the pool by KONP December 17, 2004

Drop the kids off at the pool 

Pooping (with substitution)Also, Bringing the Browns to the Super Bowl.

note: Dropping the Cosby Kids off at the Pool would be correct when referring to pooping, whiel masturbating into a toilet could be considered dropping the proverbial "kids" off at the pool.

Drop the kids off at the pool by Anonymous October 21, 2003