Alan (noun):
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
• “Stop being dramatic and get yourself an Alan — mine just carried all the shopping, fixed the WiFi, and still had time to laugh at my worst joke.”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
by Bionic Scout September 11, 2025
Get the Alan mug.Alan- Alan is a man who will treat you like your the ruler of this earth. He'll buy you a Cartier love bracelet for your one year anniversary and a 2 carat D coloured Flawless Tiffany engagement ring when he proposes to you. Even though he is kind, please be aware that Alan enjoys to flex with big brand names and jewelry.
by Betterhaverealbrandnames August 21, 2020
Get the Alan. mug.A very voluptuous man with very tight and big meanders. Epic Shag every geography lesson after school when all the girls have left. I love the special tickle time, especially with his year 7 form. Love his geography exams, don't know fuck all about the economic development in Nigeria but after a quick shag I get grade 9's. I really enjoy it when he teaches us about hydraulic action - Just the thought of the waves smashing against the rocks widening and deepening the hole ultimately making it easy to fit your cock into.
Alan Smith talking about meanders makes me bricked up - legit I could use my cock as coastal defence
by Walmart Bag in Dharavi February 14, 2022
Get the Alan Smith mug.Most famous for his sex god voice. Alan Rickman has icons such as the fabulous Severus Snape in the Harry Potter saga. If walking with a girl whilst she sees him, beware, she will most likely scream and drool.
"My gf dumped me the other day"
"What Happened?"
"She saw Alan Rickman and said i didn't have a sexy enough voice for her"
"What Happened?"
"She saw Alan Rickman and said i didn't have a sexy enough voice for her"
by snapesangel26 February 7, 2009
Get the Alan Rickman mug.The best british actor who ever lived. Known for his part in the Harry Potter movies as Professor Severus Snape. Has been acting for over 50 years. Has the most romantic voice. And is the sexiest 60 year old on the planet!!!!!!!!
by SDMALO September 3, 2006
Get the Alan Rickman mug.-noun
1. An badass British philosopher who attempted to bring concepts of Eastern spirituality to a Western audience. Known for his incredibly soothing voice and very pleasant discourses.
-verb
1) To turn *ANY* mundane task into an enjoyable game/experience whereby the task instantly becomes exciting and fun.
1. An badass British philosopher who attempted to bring concepts of Eastern spirituality to a Western audience. Known for his incredibly soothing voice and very pleasant discourses.
-verb
1) To turn *ANY* mundane task into an enjoyable game/experience whereby the task instantly becomes exciting and fun.
noun-
R- Yo did you see that new video I sent you on Youtube?
I- You mean the one where that old dude talks about how washing dishes is fun?
R- Yeah, his name is Alan Watts and he's the shit!
verb-
R- Hey man, do me a favor and go alan watts that shit my dog just left on the neighbor's lawn?
I - Word
R- Yo did you see that new video I sent you on Youtube?
I- You mean the one where that old dude talks about how washing dishes is fun?
R- Yeah, his name is Alan Watts and he's the shit!
verb-
R- Hey man, do me a favor and go alan watts that shit my dog just left on the neighbor's lawn?
I - Word
by blobinwrath August 2, 2009
Get the alan watts mug.Back in WW2 Alan Turing was the man who broke enigma, which are encrypted codes designed by Germany. Breaking enigma aided the allies drastically enabling them to win the war as well as end it much earlier saving about 14 million lives. Sadly he had allegations filed against him for homosexuality, resulting in chemical castration performed on him finally leading to his suicide in 1954 June 7. Aside from that, he helped the development of computers and other technologies. But most notably Alan Turing is the sole reason we do not live in an authoritarian society ruled by nazis today. Unfortunately most Americans & British people do not give a shit about his contributions since he was homosexual and so Alan Turing is not commemorated much
Person A: damn I just found out about Alan Turing, he helped shape our society so much!
Person B: well he was homosexual so...
Person A:... he saved your life
Person B: well he was homosexual so...
Person A:... he saved your life
by mynameisirrevelant February 20, 2020
Get the Alan Turing mug.