church wood

An untimely and spontaneous erection of the male penis that occurs in a church, usually while sitting in the pew listening to a boring Protestant Christian sermon.

"I popped church wood this morning and had to cover my dick with the Bible when we stood up for prayer."

by kgacho November 5, 2009

Nursed the wood

nursing the wood means when you're rolling up your medical marijauna in a backwood, it comes out nice and fat with no flaws.

My homie Ollie just nursed the wood yo!

by Boonmckaw March 9, 2015

hit the wood

Smoke a blunt.

I’m high asf I don’t even know why I hit the wood

by Hit the Woodman February 8, 2022

Wooded up

Excited, super pumped, erect, aroused.

Can be used in a sexual context, or just in general as a way of saying you are excited and enthusiastic about something

"I am fully wooded up for this party tonight"
"I am not that wooded up for this workout today"
"Who here would be wooded up to work on this project?"

by ElTigre January 3, 2015

infinite wood

A penile erecttion that will not deflate due to an unwanted reaction to taking viagra.

I had infinite wood on Thursday. I took some viagra so I could have sex with Desi Williams from Survivor. She is so hot i wanted to be able to have sex for more than 39 minutes, my usual standard. My erectile would not deflate or cum so I dragged my embarrased self to urgent care. Once there a nurse with huge tits hopped on my erect penis with her tight vagina and fucked me so hard with her tight pussy that I finally came. Thank you nurse Cheri!!!!!!!!!

by Donald Cowboy Cerrone November 8, 2017

Otto Wood

Otto Woods is from Texas and is a drummer in the band Waterparks. He has an Instagram account but hates the internet, he doesn’t have a twitter. Sometimes during a live show he would switch spots with Awsten Knight (Lead singer in band Waterparks) and sing and Awsten would play the drums.

Hey, have you seen Otto Wood?
Look! Its Otto wood singing!

by Melanie Martinez k-12 September 11, 2020

Oliver Wood

The gryffindor quidditch captin that makes my pussy throb whenever he's on screen.

My friend: Oliver Wood is ugly!
Me: Shut the fuck up retard you simp for draco you have no right to say who's ugly and who is not.

by PercyIsHeadBoy February 20, 2021