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Stu Staching

The act of drinking milk so enthusiastically and with such unbridled joy that a thick, white mustache is not just formed—it becomes a statement. This advanced life technique is practiced by only the chillest of milk enthusiasts, who can casually flex their dairy dominance while maintaining an aura of shy wholesomeness. A true Stu Stacher is a rare breed: humble, yet unshakably confident in their ability to wield lactose as both nourishment and lifestyle.

Key Components of Stu Staching:

The Mustache: It’s not just milk residue; it’s a badge of honor. The thicker and whiter, the better. Bonus points for symmetry.
The Vibe: Remain utterly unbothered. Stu Staching is about creating an air of zen-like calm while everyone else wonders how you’re making milk look so cool.
The Ritual: Milk is never just drunk—it’s savored. The glass is lifted with reverence, and the mustache is achieved with precision.
Legend has it:
Masters of Stu Staching can attract herds of cows with a single sip, and their milk mustaches are rumored to have mystical properties. Some say they can calm storms and silence crying babies with a mere glance.
“Did you see him at the party? He wasn’t even trying to show off, just Stu Staching with his milk like he was born to do it.”
“I tried Stu Staching last night, but all I got was a blotchy milk smear. Truly, it’s an art form.”
Warning: Attempting to Stu Stache without proper chill levels may result in spillage, awkward milk stains, and severe embarrassment. Proceed with caution and respect the milk.
by sitsinfrontofZman December 18, 2024
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Stache Patrol

An international movement to share the uncomfortable news that you, as a woman, might need to do something about that 'stache.

Since it's creation in 2009, has since expanded to include just about any nasty attribute about which the statement "someone needed to say something" might be said (body odour, haircut, bad breath, terrible hat, something in your teeth).
Friend 1: "I just got an email from the stache patrol telling me that I have terrible taste in music and that I should stop requesting Nickelback at parties."

Friend 2: "Finally!"
by Captain gurzly August 19, 2012
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wine stache

Name for the imprint of wine staining one's lips after multiple glasses of red.
"Kerin, is that a wine stache? Have fun last night?"
by lovesitall May 28, 2012
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Crumb-stache

When you have so many crumbs on your face it counts as a mustache
Damn, my empanada gave me a crumb-stache!”
by Crumb_got_boots April 21, 2022
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sac stache

When two gay males perform fellatio on each other in the "69" position and the top guy`s ball sac drapes down over the lower guys upper lip.
Man, I was giving Chad a mean blowjob last night in a hot 69 when he dropped a "sac stache" on me and I nearly smothered to death.
by IBleakin October 28, 2023
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puss-stache

eeee u seen tha puss-stache
by jaydlaimt January 30, 2020
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Pedo Stache

As the name implies, the phrase Pedo Stache, short for 'Pedophile" Mustache, is a small, patchy "mustache" that makes it's owner look like a Pedophile.
Johnny Anderson: "Logan Bagby and Ty Covey both have pedo staches!"
by R0ZES May 15, 2024
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