DRUNK AS FUCK

really damn drunk , gona pass out and fall over

hes drunk as fukkkk- dammmm he drunk

by pufud February 27, 2005

mike drunkbeater

Mike Drunkbeater is a professional redneck-style comedian. He performs as part of The Redneck Comedy Tour with Stink Fleaman, Walt Abernathy, and Larry, the guy who works for the department of water and power.

He is well known for his famous quote, "Oh that dog of mine!"

Mike Drunkbeater is coming to town!
Oh that dog of mine!

by KaBoom January 24, 2014

I'll have you know that I was drunk

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

by Jim E. Junk March 15, 2006

Drunken Kleptomania

Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.

These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?

If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.

FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.

John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.

There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...

"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"

The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.

"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."

Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.

by Jimblor April 7, 2009

Rhino-drunk

The state of being so drunk that one might very well begin crawling on the floor. Equally, if whilst crawling on the floor, it were suggested that you ought to play with a plastic rhinoceros, you wouldn't be opposed to it. Comparable to crunk, but referring to someone who is intoxicated to a greater extent.

Person: Hey man, I heard you started doing "crazy shit" last night, how drunk were you?

Buddy of person: Oh man, I was rhino-drunk. I'm quite hungover this morning.

by HMS Secretive February 27, 2009

Drunk Pirate

One who becomes heavily intoxicated and steals whatever he can get his hands on. Once awakened in the morning, he finds himself lying atop a pile of treasure.

Broke Ass Dave is a drunk pirate.

by Griz April 30, 2004

drunkalicious

Adjective to describe someone gets more attractive the more you drink.
See beer goggles and drunkfectionate

Kevin: "I had no idea she was so effing' hot !"
Dano: "She's not... she's drunkalicious"

by DanoNYC February 28, 2007