Chicago Bears Tax

A mysterious curse where any football player who signs with the Chicago Bears immediately forgets how to play football. Scientists estimate a 75% drop in skill the second the pen hits the contract. Side effects include dropped passes, missed tackles, and uncontrollable crying at Soldier Field.

Man, he was a Pro Bowler last year. Now? Looks like he paid the Chicago Bears Tax.

by 34344444 September 7, 2025

Dropped bears like a picnic

Bringing the funk; phat phrases or rhymes; great lyrics, a real good time.

You catch (name insert) last night?!
He dropped bears like a picnic!

Or
Did you go to that (place insert)?
It drop like bears at a picnic

by Nursingzombie December 16, 2025

there will be bears

A cult formed to stop the bear menace from taking over the world in the great bear uprising of 2012

Hey I feel a lot safer knowing there will be bears is there to protect us

by overlord327 June 6, 2011

Poke the right bears

Business folks say this to 1) imply they can do favors, affect change, etc. and 2) sound macho.

Especially common among grown-up douchebro yuppie types.

Hydrogen fuel cells aren't a development priority this quarter? Let me see if I can poke the right bears to get this done.

by unicodebandito May 9, 2017

cuddly brown bears

They are brown bears that cuddle with you

Disclaimer: Don’t go out looking for cuddly brown bear! Most brown bears will not be ready to cuddle with you because they don’t like you! Cuddly brown bears like to cuddle and they are brown.

by Cuddlybrownbearlover January 17, 2018

Running of the Bears

A far-less known event that takes place each July in an undisclosed place and region, where humanity's worst converge in one place to commit unjustifiable acts for their "Master."

GABE: Have you heard about what our leaders do over there in Bohemian Grove? I saw online just the other day that they engage in the Running of the Bears.
JACK: That's interesting! What's that about?
GABE: You don't wanna know, buddy.

by The Skull of Brutal Honesty June 3, 2018

Teachers gummy bears

Gummy bears filled with one pill to re introduce "nap time."

Hey george weren't the Teachers gummy bears the best?
george?
geor
ge
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

by Pebo the german hypocrite December 11, 2018